The first question:
Last night you discussed the attitude of total acceptance as the basic ground for all Tantric sadhana – spiritual practice. If I remember correctly, on another day you said that the science of Tantra teaches to be in the middle in everything, being free from the extremes in life. In this reference, explain how one can come to understand the difference between indulgence and repression in one’s sex life.”
Accepting the total life means the middle path. If you deny, you move to the opposite extreme. Denial is extreme. If you deny anything, you deny it for something; then you move to one extreme. If one denies sex, he will move to brahmacharya, celibacy – to the other extreme. If you deny brahmacharya, you will move to indulgence – to the other extreme. The moment you deny, you have accepted the extreme path.
Acceptance of totality is to be automatically in the middle. You are neither for something nor against something. You have not chosen, you are just floating in the stream. You are not moving toward a goal – you have no choice. You are in a let-go.
Tantra believes in a deep let-go. When you choose, your ego comes in. When you choose, your will comes in. When you choose, you are moving against the whole universe – you have your own choice. When you choose, you are not choosing the universal flow: you are standing aloof, isolated; you are like an island. You are trying to be yourself against the whole flux of life.
Non-choosing means you are not to decide where life goes. You allow the life to move, to take you with it, and you have no fixed goal. If you have a fixed goal, you are bound to choose. Life’s goal is your goal. You are not moving against life; you have no ideas of your own against life. You leave yourself, you surrender yourself, to the life force itself. This is what Tantra means by total acceptance.
And once you accept life in its totality things start happening, because this total acceptance frees you from your ego point. Your ego point is the problem, because of it you create problems. There are no problems in life itself; existence is problem-less. You are the problem and you are the creator of the problem, and you create problems out of everything. Even if you meet God, you will create problems out of him. Even if you reach paradise, you will create problems out of paradise – because you are the original source of the problems. You are not going to surrender. This non-surrendering ego is the source of all problems.