Before I ask Avirbhava to bring her newly acquired gods, I have heard a joke about an octopus:
Klopski is overjoyed with his new pet octopus, Clyde. The magnificent creature drinks vodka like a fish, but also can play any musical instrument in the world.
One evening, after polishing off a few bottles of vodka together, Clyde and Klopski go out to the Jumpin’ Jellyfish Jazz Club.
Klopski shouts, “Hey, everybody! I will bet anyone here that my octopus can play anything anyone gives him.”
Laughter fills the bar. Then Benny the banjo player says, “Okay, I bet you fifty dollars he can’t play my banjo.”
Klopski nods enthusiastically, swallows back a shot of vodka and gives one to Clyde. The octopus swallows his drink and crawls onto the stage, grabbing not one but two banjos on the way.
As he plays “God Save The Queen,” he sneaks out a free tentacle and snatches another glass of vodka.
“Hey, man,” yells Pete the piano player, “that is cool. But I will bet you a hundred bucks he can’t play my grand piano.”
“Right!” yells Klopski, swallowing his vodka, and pouring one for the octopus. Clyde knocks back the vodka and jumps on the piano. Waving all his arms about wildly, Clyde plays the Polish national anthem stylishly.
“That is fine,” comes a shout from the corner, “but I will bet you five hundred dollars he will never be able to play this!” It is Hamish MacTavish, and be brings a big, old Scottish bagpipe up to Klopski.
“Okay,” says Klopski. But before Klopski can touch it, Clyde leaps on the bagpipe, squeezing and tangling his arms all over it. Then the octopus and the bagpipe fall onto the floor in a knotted heap, making only a pitiful gasping sound.
Losing the bet, an enraged Klopski grabs the octopus, holds him up in the air and cries, “What the hell went wrong with you?”
“Well,” grins the octopus, drunkenly, “she looked so beautiful, but I just couldn’t get her cotton panties off!”
Now, Avirbhava, come on.
(A gray velvety octopus appears in front of the podium, holding between his tentacles a flute, playing the Beatles tune “In An Octopus’ Garden,” and dancing up and down in front of Osho.)
So let him settle on the Stonehead, now…