And you are asking, “If so, why am I waiting for something to happen?” Now, do I have to answer this? Perhaps this is your unique enlightenment, that even though you are enlightened, still you are looking for some happening. A little crazy, but that does not destroy your enlightenment. And a few crazy people are also needed. They bring salt to existence. Existence without crazy people will lose something very interesting.
But you cannot even accept that. You go on, asking, “Is it an old habit?” Just trying to console yourself, that although you are enlightened, just because of the old habit you go on looking here and there. But the more you will look here and there, the more you will be nourishing the old habit. You will be practicing the old habit.
It is very difficult to see that eating your food silently and joyously, sleeping with as much blissfulness as you can contain, having an ordinary life of being a carpenter or being a shoemaker, or being a painter or a poet or a dancer and relaxing in whatever you are without making ideals….
But man cannot be destroyed without ideals, and he cannot be enslaved without ideals. He cannot be condemned, he cannot be made to feel guilty if there is not an ideal that he has to become. And nobody ever becomes the ideal that he has tried his whole life to become.
Have you ever seen any Christian becoming a Christ? Almost half the humanity is Christian and for two thousand years these people have been trying hard to fulfill the ideal of being a Christ. Why do they go on failing? And it is not only the Christians – the Jainas, the Hindus, the Buddhists, the Mohammedans, nobody has been successful.
The reason is so fundamental that you cannot go against it.
You can either be yourself or just a wastage.
These are the only two alternatives.
Love Gautam Buddha for his uniqueness, but never imitate him. He himself never imitated anybody, that’s why he is enlightened. It is strange that a simple fact has not been recognized. Mahavira never imitated anybody and that’s why he’s enlightened. You show me a single enlightened being who has ever imitated anybody.
I am reminded of a very beautiful man, Kabir. In India, Hindus believe that the Ganges is a holy river, and if you die near the Ganges then your paradise is absolutely guaranteed. Then it does not matter what crimes you committed, what sins you committed, what immoralities; everything is washed out by the Ganges.
Naturally, all the Hindus cannot live by the side of the Ganges. That will be too much of a crowd. Those who live there are fortunate; those who cannot live there at least go in their old age to live there, when they see death is coming. In cities like Varanasi, you will be surprised to see – why are there so many old people, old women? No other city can compete in that respect. All these people have come there to die and now they are waiting for their death; it may come any moment.