Mulla Nasruddin said, “That is absolutely wrong. Put yourself right. I am not a mouse, I am a mousetrap. You are a mouse. Mousetraps don’t run after mice to catch hold of them. The mice themselves come and get caught, and that’s how it happened with us.”
Mulla Nasruddin was not courageous enough to approach this woman. He was afraid from the very beginning. Every man is afraid because he has seen what has happened to his father, what has happened to his grandfather. He has seen what is happening to every neighbor. Every man is afraid. Mulla was very much afraid; he never approached any woman. It was this woman who caught him. So he said, “Remember, I am a mousetrap, that is true, but I was just sitting in my place. You got into me, it is your responsibility.”
But it does not matter who catches who, who takes the initiative. Even in those beautiful moments which should be sacred, meditative, of deep silence – even then you are not alone with your beloved – there is a crowd. Your mind is thinking of somebody else, your wife’s mind is thinking of somebody else. Then what you are doing is just robot-like, mechanical. Some biological force is enslaving you, and you call it love.
I have heard that early in the morning, a drunkard on the beach saw a man doing pushups. The drunkard walked around him, looked very closely from here and from there, and finally said, “I should not interfere in such an intimate affair, but I have to tell you that your girlfriend has gone. Now don’t exercise unnecessarily – first get up and find where she is!”
That seems to be the situation. When you are making love, is your woman really there? Is your man really there? Or are you just doing a ritual – something which has to be done, a duty to be fulfilled? If you want a harmonious relationship with your man, you will have to learn to be more meditative. Love alone is not enough. Love alone is blind; meditation gives it eyes. Meditation gives it understanding. And once your love is both love and meditation, you become fellow travelers. Then it is no longer an ordinary relationship between husband and wife. Then it becomes friendliness on the path towards discovering the mysteries of life.