The husband comes home and he starts talking nonsense, saying irrelevant things – about what happened in the market, what happened in the shop, what was in the news, what came on the radio. He goes on talking, and the wife also goes on talking – what other wives are talking about in their houses, and so on. They go on talking, they go on talking until they fall asleep. Why so much talking? What is the purpose of it? Are they really interested in communicating something? No. They are afraid to communicate. If they are silent then their hearts will start communicating, so they go on talking. Talking creates a barrier. They meet mind to mind so that they will not meet heart to heart, because a heart-to-heart meeting is possible only in silence.
This is the way we are living. Then we say that we are living in misery. What else is possible? Misery will be your fate. But it is not your destiny; it is your own created misery, it is you who have created it. Encapsulated, you will be in misery. Open, vulnerable, you will become capable of being blissful. This opening is to be learned through reaching, reaching into the hearts of others.
This sutra says:
Learn to look intelligently into the hearts of men.
Intelligence is impartial; no man is your enemy; no man is your friend. All alike are your teachers. Your enemy becomes a mystery that must be solved, even though it takes ages; for man must be understood. Your friend becomes a part of yourself, an extension of yourself, a riddle hard to read.
The sutra says: Learn to look intelligently… By intelligently is meant: be impartial. If you are partial, you cannot reach the heart. All partiality focuses you in the mind; only an impartial consciousness comes to the heart.
The heart is impartial, the mind is always partial. The mind is always party-bound, sectarian, for this and against that. The heart is neither for nor against. The heart is simply an opening, a receiving, a welcoming. It has no enemies and no friends; only the mind has enemies and friends. By intelligence is meant impartiality. Only then are you intelligent.
If you are partial, you are not intelligent. You may appear to be so: you may appear to be sophisticated, educated, logical, but you are not wise, not really intelligent. Intelligence has the quality of no prejudice, no partiality, no feeling for and against, because only then can you look at the whole.
For example, if I say that you are my friend, it will be impossible for me to enter your heart. Or if I say that you are my enemy, then too it will be impossible to reach your heart. When I say you are my friend I have taken you for granted. Obviously, I understand that I have understood you. Otherwise, how is friendship possible? When I say you are my friend, I show my partiality: I’m saying that I like you. And when I say I like you, I have become partial. Then I cannot reach your heart. My liking will become a barrier.
When I say I like you, I am really imposing myself upon you, my likings. I say you are good because how you are is according to my liking. Now that I have entered you, I have imposed myself upon you, I cannot reach your heart. I cannot know you as you are – because of my liking.