You are not enjoying, but the mind says, “Why not enjoy this moment?” And you have never enjoyed, because a man without inner understanding cannot enjoy anything. He simply suffers; everything becomes a suffering to him. Love – he suffers even a thing like love. The most beautiful phenomenon possible to a man asleep is love, but he suffers even through that. Nothing better is possible when you are asleep. Love is the greatest possibility, but you suffer even from that. Because it is not a question of love or something else – sleep is suffering, so whatsoever happens you will suffer. Sleep turns every dream into a nightmare. It starts beautifully, but something somewhere always goes wrong. In the end you reach to hell.
Every desire leads to hell. They say every road leads to Rome – I don’t know, but of one thing I am certain: every desire leads to hell. In the beginning desire gives you much hope, dreams – that is the trick. That’s how you are trapped. If the desire from the very beginning says, “Be alert: I am leading you to hell,” you won’t follow it. The desire promises you heaven, and promises you, “Just a few steps and you will reach it; just come with me.” It allures you, hypnotizes you and promises you many things, and you, being in suffering, think, “What is wrong in trying? Let us try a little of this desire also.”
That too will lead you to hell, because desire as such is a path to hell. Hence, Buddha says, “Unless you become desireless you cannot be blissful.” Desire is suffering, desire is a dream and desire exists only when you are asleep. When you are awake and alert, desires cannot befool you. Then you see through them; then everything is so clear that you cannot be befooled. How can money befool you and say that you will be very, very happy when there is money? Then look at the rich people: they are in hell also – maybe a rich hell, but it makes no difference. A richer hell is going to be worse than a poor hell. Now they have attained money and they are simply in a state of constant nervousness.
Mulla Nasruddin accumulated much wealth. Then he entered a hospital because he couldn’t sleep and he was nervous and constantly trembling and afraid – afraid of nothing in particular. A poor man is afraid of something in particular; a rich man is simply afraid. If you are afraid of something in particular, something can be done. But he is simply afraid – he does not know why, because he has everything; there is no need to be afraid, but he is simply afraid and trembling.
He entered into the hospital and a few things were brought for breakfast, and one of those few things was a bowl of quivering gelatin. He said, “No. I cannot eat this.”
The doctor asked, “Why are you so adamant about it?”
He said, “I cannot eat anything more nervous than me.”
But a rich man is nervous. What is the nervousness, the fear? Why is he so scared? Because every desire is fulfilled and still the frustration remains. Now he cannot even dream because he has passed through all dreams; they led nowhere. He cannot dream and he cannot gather courage to open his eyes either, because there are involvements. He has promised many things in his sleep.