So you must have an interest somewhere or other. I understand your difficulty. Your interest drives you towards wealth, towards position, and your so-called holy men are holding you back. They are saying, “Where are you going? There is nothing there.” You fall into a dilemma: “Should I listen to the holy ones? What they are saying seems to be right – they are nice, decent people….” But your heart tells you, “Look for it, right now.”
A maulvi spoke in the mosque. After his speech he said, “All those who want to go to heaven, please stand up.” Everyone except Mulla Nasruddin stood up. The maulvi was a little perplexed. When everyone sat down again, the maulvi said, “Now please stand up all those who want to go to hell.” No one stood up, and Mulla still remained seated. Then the maulvi said, “Mulla, what do you want? Don’t you want to go anywhere?”
Mulla replied, “I do want to go to heaven, but not right now. And you are talking as if the bus is waiting outside and everyone has to get ready to go. Not yet! I want to go to heaven, but not yet. There is still plenty to do here. My desires are not yet fulfilled.”
The Mulla is a more honest person. If all the people who stood up knew that a bus was actually waiting outside, they would sit down again. They want to express their desire to go to heaven, but not yet. Who wants to go to heaven right now? Right now, there is plenty left to do in this world. You have plans, you have ambitions. Your dreams haven’t been shattered yet. Right now, your dreams are spread out like rainbows – tremendous rainbow bridges are there. Right now, you can see mirages on the distant horizon. Right now, you think, “We are almost there. We have nearly arrived. However far it may be to Delhi, it is not really that far. It seems we are very close – we have almost reached it. We are about to arrive. Two more steps, or four more steps…we will soon be there. A little more hard work, a little more toil, a little more waiting….” Your mind continues to tell you these things.
Your interest is in the world. But when you look at the faces of the worldly people, it begins to seem improbable that you will ever get what you are desiring because none of them seem to have got what they wanted. Then you look at the holy men, at the sages – it seems that they may have found what they wanted…peaceful, blissful…but your experience within you says, “Not yet, not right now; search a little more. Who knows, I might be able to find what no one else has ever found.”
One of the most basic things about the mind is that it always tells you that you may be an exception. Although no one else ever got what he wanted, does this prove that you also won’t get what you want? One rule about the mind is that it always exempts you. It says, “You may be different.” Everyone dies, the earth is a graveyard, someone dies every day, but your mind still says to you, “It is others who die. That doesn’t mean that you will die. Have you died yet? When did you die? Have you ever seen yourself dead? Maybe you won’t die!”