I looked into her and I said, “You wait for seven days. Next time you come, bring your lover with you.”
She came after a week, but she said, “We have quarreled and separated.”
So I asked, “What about the tantra technique? I am ready to give it to you.”
She said, “But now I have no lover.” And she was so sad and so depressed, and not even suspecting what has happened.
When you fall in love, you believe that; you think something permanent has happened in your being. Then you are sad, then you believe that. You are such a great believer, you never suspect for a single moment that these are moods and they pass just as clouds pass in the sky, and they go on flowing just like a river flows. Nothing is permanent in you. How can you say, “I am”? That will be a falsity. To assert, “I am,” is to say a lie. You cannot say. You are many “I”s, a thousand and one egos within you – a crowd, a multiplicity – you are poly-psychic.
You are just like a wheel. Think of a wheel of a bullock cart, moving: one spoke comes up, then it goes down, another comes up, then too is on the way down; and the wheel goes on moving and every moment a different spoke comes up. You are like a wheel: you go on moving, and many spokes are there which you call “I”s. When one “I” comes up you get identified with it. When you are angry you don’t see that anger is like a cloud surrounding you. You become one with it. The mood takes total possession of you, you are possessed by it. Then it is not good to say, “I am angry.” It would be better if you say, “I am anger.” When love possesses you, you become love. Don’t say, “I am in love,” you are love!
You get so identified with the mood that your separate identity, your separate being is no more there. And this goes on continuously from the moment you are born to the moment you die. You become young and you think you are young – and you know that the body is changing every moment. Then you become old and then you think, “I am old.” In youth you were jubilant that you were young, full of energy. In age you are sad and depressed because now the energy has gone. While alive you think you are the body and when death comes, then you say, “I am dying.” Whatsoever happens you become identified with it.
This is the state of affairs of a humanity which is fast asleep. That’s why it cannot be said that you are man yet, you are a mechanism. The man will be born within you when you become conscious of the whole mechanism and don’t get identified, when you can see anger coming, you can see anger surrounding you, you can see anger all around you, and yet you remain a watcher on the hill.