The first thing the man is interested to know about is the small barrier, whether it is intact or not. If it is not intact then the girl is not a virgin. Sometimes riding on a horse or climbing a tree or in an accident, that small barrier can be broken, can have holes, although the girl is a virgin.
In the Middle Ages it was impossible to get a husband for her, so there were doctors who used to make an artificial skin barrier and fix it so that the woman looked virgin, whether she was virgin or not. Stupidity has no limits.
In fact, virginity should not be a part of a truly understanding society. Virginity means the woman remains unaware of what she is going to face after marriage. A more compassionate society will allow boys and girls to know sex before they get married so they know exactly what they are going for, whether they want to go for it or not. And a woman should be allowed to know as many people before marriage as possible – and the same applies to the man – because before deciding on a right partner, the only way to know is to have experiences with many partners, different types of people.
But ignorance has been propounded in the name of virginity, in the name of morality.
Ignorance cannot be supported on any grounds. If in the world married people are so miserable, one of the major reasons is that they were not allowed to know many women, many men, before their marriage; otherwise they would have chosen, with more understanding, the right person who fits harmoniously with them.
Astrologers are consulted – as if the stars are worried about whom you get married to, as if the stars are at all interested in you! Palmists are consulted, as if there are lines on your hand which can give indications for a right partner. Birth charts are consulted…all these things are absolutely irrelevant. When you were born and when the woman was born has no relationship to the life that you are going to live. But these were rationalizations. Man was trying to console himself that he has been trying every possible way to find the right partner.
There is only one way to find the right partner: that is, allow young boys and young girls to mix with as many partners as possible, so they can know the differences between women, the differences between men. Then they can come to know with whom they are polar opposites, with whom they are just lukewarm, with whom they are passionately in a harmony. Except that, there is no way of finding the right partner.
A man of rebellious spirit will have to be aware about every ideal, howsoever ancient, and will respond according to his awareness and understanding – not according to the conditioning of the society. That is true renunciation.