How can I love better?
Love is enough unto itself; it needs no betterment. It is perfect as it is; it is not in any way to be more perfect. The very desire shows a misunderstanding about love and its nature. Can you have a perfect circle? All circles are perfect; if they are not perfect, they are not circles.
Perfection is intrinsic to a circle and the same is the law about love. You cannot love less, and you cannot love more – because it is not a quantity; it is a quality that is immeasurable.
Your very question shows that you have never tasted what love is, and you are trying to hide your lovelessness in a desire of: “how to love better.” No one who knows love can ask this question. Love has to be understood not as a biological infatuation. That is lust. That exists in all the animals: there is nothing special about it. It exists even in trees. It is nature’s way of reproduction. There is nothing spiritual in it, and nothing especially human.
So the first thing is to make a clear-cut distinction between lust and love. Lust is a blind passion; love is the fragrance of a silent, peaceful, meditative heart. Love has nothing to do with biology or chemistry or hormones. Love is the flight of your consciousness to higher realms – beyond matter and beyond body. The moment you understand love as something transcendental then love is no longer a fundamental question.
The fundamental question is: how to transcend the body, how to know something within you which is beyond – beyond all that is measurable. That is the meaning of the word matter. It comes from a Sanskrit root, matra, which means measurement. It means that which can be measured. The French word metre comes from the same root.
The fundamental question is: how to get away from the measurable and how to enter into the immeasurable – in other words, how to go beyond matter and open your eyes towards more consciousness. And there is no limit to consciousness. The more you become conscious, the more you realize how much more is possible ahead. As you reach one peak, another peak arises in front of you. It is an eternal pilgrimage.
Love is a by-product of a rising consciousness. It is just like the fragrance of a flower. Don’t search for it in the roots; it is not there. Your biology is your roots, your consciousness is your flowering.