But individuality is egoless, selfless, a state of no-mind. It has no ambitions, no desires, because it is immensely fulfilled just being itself. It need not fight for its existence; it is existential. It cannot be destroyed; it is indestructible, but not strong – very fragile, very feminine, never aggressive, always receptive. It never brags about itself – there is no need because there is no inferiority complex in it. Not that it feels superior! Those are two aspects of the same coin: the inferior and the superior.
The real person, the authentic being, the individual, is neither inferior nor superior; he is simply himself. He never compares himself with others – the idea of comparison does not arise at all; he knows everybody has unique individualities.
The word individuality is also significant; it means indivisible, that which cannot be divided. Individuality is organic. Personality is a patchwork – something from here, something from there. You go on collecting, and hence you are always afraid it can be taken back.
Somebody says to you, “You are so beautiful!” Now you will be dependent on the person, because he can withdraw his statement any moment. Not only can he withdraw it, he can say, “I have never seen such an ugly person as you!” Then what? You have to cling to his statement, and to cling to his statement you have to compromise. You have to go on persuading him, buttressing him, so that he goes on continuing saying that you are beautiful.
Dale Carnegie in one of his famous books suggests to couples, particularly husbands, that they should go on saying to their wives, whenever there is an opportunity, “I love you. You are the most precious thing in my life. I cannot believe there can be any person more beautiful than you.” Whether you feel it or not, that is not the point, he says; the point is repetition.
And the wife has to do the same: “You are the greatest man in the world. There is nobody who even comes close to you. You are divine. You are almost a god to me. I will worship you forever and forever, in this life and afterwards too.” Whether you feel it or not, that is not the point. You may feel, “I have never seen such a man, so stupid, so ugly, so cunning, so mean!” Go on feeling that, but never say it because people live on words – personalities live on words.
I asked a woman, I knew her husband – he was always in the library. I asked the woman, “Is your husband a bookworm?”
She said, “No, he is just an ordinary worm!”
But these things have not to be told to the husband!