Nitin has come with his wife against the desires of his parents; that was the ultimate no. Now I will teach you how to say the ultimate yes. The function of the no is complete; if you go on saying no here too, then you are misunderstanding me completely. I am not your father, I am not your mother. I have to take this no away from you and create yes. The work of the no is complete; now you need a higher flight, now you need a higher altitude of being. That is possible only through yes, because yes is positive.
No gives you a negative kind of individuality, yes gives you a positive individuality. A negative individuality is not real individuality, it is only personality, a mask – good in its own time. But remember always that every means has to be transcended some day or other. If you want to reach the goal, one day you will have to leave the way.
Buddha used to say, “Once I saw five fools carrying a boat on their heads in the marketplace. I asked them, ‘What is the matter with you? Why are you carrying this boat?’
“They said, ‘This boat helped us to come from the other shore to this shore; this boat has helped our lives. If this boat had not been available…on the other shore there were wild animals, and if we had had to remain there even only for one night we would be dead by now. We can never forget the great blessing that the boat has bestowed upon us. Out of sheer thankfulness we will carry the boat forever on our heads.’”
Buddha said, “This is the way of the stupid people. They carry scriptures, they carry ideologies, they carry philosophies on their heads. Rather than becoming a help, the boat has become a hindrance. It would have been better if they had died on the other shore; at least they would have been saved from carrying this weight their whole lives. Now this weight will kill them.”
No is good, but nobody can live in the no, nobody can make a home out of the no. No is suicidal – use it, but go beyond it. Be alert and conscious that you don’t become encaged in the no-saying. Attain to yes; use no as a stepping-stone.
By being part of this commune you have to learn how to say yes with totality. That is trust, that is surrender, that is faith. That’s what will become a bridge, the final bridge between you and existence. It will not destroy your freedom; it will simply make your freedom positive.
There are three kinds of freedom. One is “freedom from”; that is a negative freedom: freedom from the father, freedom from the mother, freedom from the church, freedom from the society. That is a negative kind of freedom – freedom from – good in the beginning, but that can’t be the goal. Once you are free from your parents, what are you going to do? Once you are free from your society then you will be at loss. You will lose all meaning and significance because your whole life had meaning in saying no. Now whom to say no to?