The first question:
For some years I have been keeping a journal to record my ideas, thoughts, feelings, spaces. Lately, though, I open the book and just stare at the blank page or draw little pictures. Much seems to be happening yet nothing seems to be happening. The words just don't seem to come the way they used to….
One should be happy, one should feel blessed, if instead of words silence starts coming to you. These are the gaps, the intervals. So don’t be worried about the words that are not coming that used to come. Something else tremendously valuable is coming to you. You have not yet recognized it. Pure space is coming to you. Empty space is coming to you. Nothingness is coming to you, and only out of this nothingness does God appear. Only out of this nothingness is truth encountered.
Forget about the words. Just wait! Look at the blank page – a blank page has much more in it than any written page can ever have.
There is a Sufi book, The Book of the Books. It is completely empty. Nothing is written in it. If you purchase it, you will feel cheated. But that book really is the book of the books. If you read it, you will read the ultimate in it. It is indicative. It is simply a gesture: become as empty as the book.
So when the blank page is before you, don’t draw even pictures, because that will keep you occupied and you will miss the great nothingness that is coming closer to you. Mind gets afraid, and in fear the mind starts doing anything just to keep itself occupied.
Make it a meditation. Keep the blank before you and watch, and become as blank as the page. Let two blanknesses meet, and in that encounter you will be lost and something of the beyond will penetrate in you. You will never be the same again, because you will have tasted something which is deathless. You will have tasted something of the formless, of the unknown, of the inexpressible, of the eternally elusive.
The mind goes on growing words. Those words occupy you. They fill you and they don’t give any space for something else to enter in you. The words block you. Your flow, then, is not spontaneous, not natural. Then there are too many rocks around you. Words exist like rocks around you.
If it is happening, then much is happening: rocks are there no more, and the now is getting in tune with the divine. Only nothingness can be in tune with the divine. So please don’t even draw pictures, because that is again a trick of the mind. The mind is unable to bring words; something else will do – drawing pictures will do. Just look at the blank page. Even better will be to sit facing the wall and look at the blank wall.