That hope was false, all hopes are false. To hope simply means to postpone. To hope means your present is ugly and you want to avoid it for some beautiful future. To hope means you don’t want to see the present. You want to remain occupied with the future. The tomorrow is more important to you than the today, and the next moment more important than this moment. Either you escape in the past or you escape in the future – and the reality consists only of the present.
Yes, I can understand: you must have come full of hope. But that is your problem. What can I do about it? You have come to a wrong person. I cannot give you more hope, because hope is poison. I would like to take all possibilities of hope from you.
And remember: when all possibilities of hope are taken away from you, when the whole poison is taken out of your system, you don’t feel hopeless. You simply feel freed from both hope and hopelessness – because hopelessness can exist only as a shadow of hope. It can’t exist without hope. Your shadow can’t exist without you; you are needed there. Hopelessness is just the shadow of hope.
Drop the hope, and see a miracle happening: hopelessness also disappears. And when there is neither hope nor hopelessness, great freedom arises in you. You are out of the prison of desire.
You say: “I came here full of hope and joy.”
That joy was just an idea, an idea that something is going to happen, that your hope is going to be fulfilled, that now you have found the right master. This is what you always wanted to do: to find the man who can fulfill all your hopes. Now you have found him, hence the joy. The joy was a by-product of hope. If hope itself is false, how can the joy which is a by-product of it be real? It was not real joy, it was a false phenomenon, because now that the hope is disappearing, the joy is disappearing.
And you say: “…but I now realize that it’s all meaningless.”
Yes, it is all meaningless. The hope, the joy that hope creates, the fantasies and the joy that the idea of their fulfillment creates, it is all meaningless. Not that there is no meaning in life; meaning is revealed to you only when you have stopped all these meaningless activities. When all these activities disappear, meaning appears. These are the activities which are preventing your meaningfulness. And when that meaning appears in your being it is inexpressible. It is absolutely incommunicable, but it transforms your whole being. It makes you luminous.
It is said of Moses that when he saw God on the mountain, his face became so luminous, so full of light, so shining, that he had to cover it, he had to veil it. He came to his people with a veil on his face. They were surprised. They said, “Why are you covering your face?”
He said, “Because it has become so luminous, so full of light, and I don’t want to look holier than others.” This is real sainthood! “I don’t want to prove myself superior to others, and my face is so full of light that if I move among you without a veil everybody is bound to feel that I have become the chosen one, that God has descended into me, that my heart has been touched and transformed.”