To those who have been calling me “master,” the declaration of friendship ended their discipleship, and to one who was simply longing for intimacy the same declaration made him a disciple. And the people who were longing to be masters were not many; they belonged only in the category of therapists – just a few therapists, not all. And those therapists got this longing because I was sending people to their therapies and they started thinking that they are some kind of masters, and they are helping people to grow.
The reality was, I was sending these people to their therapies because these people were so full of rubbish that they needed some dry cleaning, and those therapists were nothing but dry cleaners. But thousands of people passing through their therapies…it is very human and very natural to get the idea that, “We can be masters on our own.” They were just waiting for the opportunity.
It is not true about all sannyasins; it is only true about a special small group of therapists. Their work destroyed them. They may have helped many people come closer to me, but they themselves went on going farther and farther away.
Premda has no desire to be a master, and nobody who has a desire to be a master can ever be a master. Only those who are desireless happen to be masters. It is not something like a goal that you can achieve: it is something that happens by the way, unintentionally, without being sought for. You are doing something else, you are feeling more love, more intimacy, more reverence, and slowly, slowly, in this reverence and love and intimacy, your ego is disappearing. One day, when the ego is not there, you have become a master.
You were not seeking it – it is just a by-product. And those poor therapists missed – although they were with me for years – because they remained achievers, climbers. In their mind they were always thinking how to become a master.
It is good, Premda, that my offering of friendship created discipleship in you. That’s how it should have been for everyone who is sincerely here for the search of truth, for the search of oneself.
You are blessed.
Hearing about the sannyasin therapists who are choosing to do their own thing, reminds me that once I also decided to do my own thing rather than be with you.
When I did come back, I judged myself, and felt judged by others – ironically, some of whom are among those of whom you have recently spoken.
Because I can alternately view my experience as a going astray or as a constructive learning, I am very cautious about judging others who would appear to have gone off track. Surely only an enlightened seer is in a position to indicate where we are.
My question is: What is it to miss? Is it something other than, through our sleepiness, choosing to take a longer, more devious route to that place which we must some day reach…that place which, in fact, you say we have never left?
Are we all missing every moment of every day until we are enlightened?
Yes, everybody is missing every moment until they are enlightened.