But in America data has been collected showing that everything has a life of only three years: marriages last only three years – that is the average; jobs last only three years; people change cities every three years…Every fashion goes out of existence within three years. Strange! The number three seems to be a very Christian number: God, the holy ghost and the son. America seems to be really Christian – follows the ideology. But this is the average. In the name of love, so many other things go on.
I have heard…
In a marriage registrar’s office, a couple were signing the forms. The woman signed and then the man signed. And the woman said, “That’s enough. I want a divorce.” Even the magistrate could not believe – nothing had happened: “Why do you want a divorce?”
The woman said, “You can see my signature and he has written his signature in such big words…it is going to be a conflict of the egos. It is better to stop it from the very beginning. Why unnecessarily torture? He is not even polite enough to sign just the way I have signed. He has written as if he is teaching school children on a blackboard…such big words. What is the need? He is filling the whole form with his signature. This is the declaration that this is going to be our relationship: ‘You are going to be a nonentity.’ I don’t want to be a nonentity.”
In the name of love, people can pretend or can even believe that they love. But it is biology, it is hormones. Just give an injection of different hormones and the love will disappear and you will hate each other. This is not love, this is physiology, biology, chemistry. Have you ever observed married people moving together, happy? The honeymoon lasts only one week or at the most two weeks. And every story says, “After the honeymoon they lived in happiness forever.” Nobody describes what happened after the honeymoon. The honeymoon is a fiction created by your biology – a romance. You are not the master of it.
Once those hormones are satisfied – you have known the woman, the woman has known you, and you are acquainted with each other’s geography perfectly – then the question arises how to get rid of…And every society helps you to get married and prevents you from divorce. There is a significant psychology behind it: if divorce is as easy as marriage, then there will be a turmoil, chaos. People will go on honeymoon and then will go directly to the magistrate for a divorce. They are finished; they cannot tolerate each other’s presence – this is not love.
So first you have to understand clearly what love should mean. I have been watching married couples. They look so sad when they are together. And if you see a man with a woman, happy, it is certain the woman is somebody else’s woman. Happiness is impossible because twenty-four hours together becomes a torture.
The same conflict, “Why are you late? Where have you been?” And every husband on his way home is trying to figure out the questions – where he has been…what he has been doing….