The path of surrender and the path of will both bring you to where Lao Tzu starts. Their end is the beginning of Lao Tzu. His path is of pathlessness. He is the ultimate word, beyond which nothing exists. He is the last word. Buddha can be improved upon, Jesus can be improved upon, Meera and Mahavira , Krishna and Chaitanya can be improved upon, but not Lao Tzu. You cannot improve upon him; there is nothing to improve. He simply does not play the game. From the very beginning he is a non-participant.
The questioner has asked, “Is there a third type of person?” No, there are only two types of people. The third type is not a type, because all types belong to the ego. The third type is sheer humanness. It is not a being, it is not a person. It is simply sheer existence, pure existence, purity itself. These two are the types. When these types disappear, then you become aware of that which is universal, which has nothing to do with the person, because personality gathers around the ego. Whether you will or you surrender makes no difference. The personality needs a base in the ego.
The ego has two types: the male and female. But a person who is egoless is not a type at all. You cannot categorize him, you cannot put him in any category. He simply transcends all categories. He is a flood – he is flowing in all directions, he is spread all over. He is not like a stone, he is like the sky: indefinable, elusive. The third is not a type, Lao Tzu is not a type. He does not belong to the world of types, the world of categories; he is simply beyond.
When Confucius went to see him, Confucius became very frightened, because to look into the eyes of Lao Tzu is to look into the eternal abyss…bottomless. It is what Buddha calls shunya: eternal void, emptiness. He started trembling, he tried to escape from him. When his disciples said, “Say something about Lao Tzu, because you have been to see him,” he was still trembling and perspiring. He said, “Don’t ask about that man! He is not a man at all; he is a dragon. And never go near him, he is dangerous! He can suck you in and you disappear.”
Had Confucius known about black holes he would have said, “He is a black hole; don’t go near him! Once you fall into him you will never be able to return. He is dangerous!” Only once did Confucius go to see him – never again – but his whole life, the shadow haunted him, because he had known a man who was not bounded. He had known a man who had no limitations. He had known sheer humanity, pure humanity, pure beingness. He had seen the purity of death and life.
No, the third does not belong to any types.
The second question:
I am aware of a dichotomy within me: when I am near you, I am drawn towards you and am conscious of being a thirsty seeker. When I am away from the ashram I just have a good time and feel deliciously unholy. Is something wrong?