Naturally one becomes afraid. What is happening? For no reason at all? She has not been the laughing type, so her whole life she has repressed her laughter. Her type was the crying one, the sad. Now suddenly the type is changing, swinging from one polarity to another polarity. Before it stops in the middle and a balance arises, it has to go to the other polarity.
Her whole life she repressed laughter, unknowingly. Now the repression has disappeared, the lid has been taken off. Now she cannot cry, the tears are there no more. The whole life’s laughter is coming up with a vengeance! It is almost hysterical. But it is a beautiful space because it is an indication of a great change, a transformation, an alchemical change. Tears are becoming laughter. Soon laughter will also disappear. As tears have disappeared, laughter will disappear. Then she will come to the exact middle; then there will be great balance, an equilibrium. That equilibrium is the goal.
Neither the negative nor the positive is the goal, because both are half. Yes, if you have to choose between the negative and the positive, choose the positive. That is a lesser kind of evil, that’s all. But if you have a choice between tranquillity and the positive, then choose tranquillity. Then the positive is nothing, then the positive is almost negative in comparison to tranquillity. If there is only one choice – tears or laughter – then laughter is good. But if there is a choice of being silent, then tears and laughter both have to be dropped. One becomes silent.
She will soon come to that silence. After this storm of laughter, there will be a great silence. It always comes after the storm. This is a release, a release of repressed laughter. It has to be taken off her consciousness. It is being taken off, and she is pouring like anything.
Now Vandana says: “After today’s discourse I met Satya on the stairs. She was laughing. I wanted to sob, but felt I must lighten up and laugh, that she was positive and I was negative. I laughed a lie. Could I be true to myself and meet her in that moment?”
Yes, there is no other way to meet anybody. Meeting is possible only if you are true, because only two true persons meet. Satya is laughing, and logically Vandana thought, “If I also laugh there will be a kind of dialogue. We will be both in the same space.”
But how can you be both in the same space? Her laughter is true, your laughter is a lie. These are not the same thing. A true laughter and a laughter that is not true are poles apart. How can you meet? Truth and falsity can never meet. If Vandana had sobbed, as she was feeling, there would have been a meeting. But that looks illogical – somebody is laughing and you start crying? That looks illogical. It looks like you are going in a different direction. Then how will there be a meeting? But let me tell you, you are not going in a different direction. It you are being true and she is being true, you are going in the same direction. It does not matter what kind of truth is happening to you.