You took my heart and now it is too late; I am enjoying aloneness and laziness so much that sometimes I think there must be something wrong with me. I feel I am at the beginning of a new journey, and there is a question that keeps on coming up: what is the difference between being a watcher, and the feeling of “I am not that”?
It is not true that I have taken your heart. You have given it to me. If I had taken it, it would not be too late; because you have given it to me, it is certainly too late!
The master takes nothing from the disciple. The disciple gives everything, including himself. The master gives an opportunity for you to give. And it is a joy and a bliss to give your heart. Nothing can be more precious a present, and there is no other way to show your gratitude.
But in any case, your heart is gone!
And you are saying, “I am enjoying aloneness and laziness so much that sometimes I think there must be something wrong with me.” There is.
Enjoying aloneness is perfectly right, but enjoying laziness is not right. Laziness is a negative state. One should be overflowing with energy. One should be at ease, but not lazy. One should be relaxed, but not lazy.
Laziness and easiness look so alike that it is very easy to misunderstand which is which. If you are enjoying your aloneness, it cannot be laziness because laziness always feels a certain guilt, a certain feeling that “I am doing something that I should not be doing,” that “I am not participating in existence.” Laziness means you have dropped out of the creativity of the universe – you are standing aside while the universe goes on creating day in, day out.
You are misunderstanding laziness for easiness.
My whole teaching is: take everything with absolute relaxation, with ease. Whether you are doing something or not, that is not the point. You must be overflowing with energy even when you are not doing anything. These trees are not doing anything, but they are overflowing with energy. You can see that in their flowers, in their colors, in their greenery, in their freshness, in their absolute naked beauty in the sunlight, in the dark night under the stars.
Life is not a tension anywhere except in the minds of humanity. To take life with ease, without any tension, without any hurry – that is not laziness, that is easiness.
I am reminded of one of the very learned scholars of Bengal. His name was Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar. He was going to be awarded the highest prize that the British Empire had in India, for his scholarship.
But he used to live in a very simple way, and his friends forced him – “It won’t look right standing before the viceroy in the Parliament House, before all the members of the parliament and all the other dignitaries. We will make a beautiful dress for you, we will bring you good shoes.” He was reluctant, but they were insistent, so finally he agreed.