He said, “My God, have I not checked it?” I said, “No!”
He said, “Now it is impossible to go to the marriage I was going to.” He returned the ticket, went home, and checked the lock. But then it was too late to go back to the station – the train had already gone.
He trusted me because I was always sitting in front of his house. Slowly it became known to everybody, so wherever he would go, people would say, “Where are you going? Have you checked the lock?”
Finally he became angry with me. He said, “You must be spreading it, because wherever I go everybody is talking about the lock, and I have to come back home – sometimes so many times that I forget completely for what purpose I had gone in the first place to the market! The whole day I have been checking the lock!”
I said, “You don’t listen to them. Let them….”
He said, “What do you mean, ‘Don’t listen to them’? If they are right then I am lost forever. I cannot take that chance. So knowing perfectly well that the man may be lying, I have to come back compulsively to check the lock. I know somewhere that I have checked it, but who knows for certain?”
Mind has no certainty about anything. If you are between the two polarities of the mind, in a limbo – always to do or not to do, you will go crazy. You are crazy! Before it happens, jump out and have a look from the outside at the mind…and that’s what I am telling you continuously.
Be aware of the mind – its bright side, its dark side, its right, its wrong. Whatever polarity it is, you just be aware of it. Two things will come out of that awareness: one, that you are not the mind, and two, that awareness has a decisiveness which mind never has. Mind is basically indecisive, and awareness is basically decisive. So any act out of awareness is total, full, without repentance.
I have never in my life thought again about anything – whether something else would have been better. I have never repented. I have never thought that I have committed any mistake, because there is nobody else who has been left to say these things. I have been acting out of my awareness – that is my whole being. Now whatever happens is all that is possible. The world may call it right or wrong – that is their business, but it is not my problem.
So awareness will take you out of the limbo. Rather than hanging between these two polarities of the mind, you will jump beyond both, and you will be able to see that those two polarities are two polarities only if you are in the mind. If you are outside it, you will be surprised that they are two sides of the same coin – there was no question of decision.