Sympathy is not love. It is not even a poor substitute for love. And the mind which starts asking for sympathy is sick. So you have to go inside your mind and find out what it is that is holding you in a fixed style of life.
Three hundred years ago, there was, in Bengal, a very great logician. Indian logic differs from Western logic, totally – and Western logic will remain childish unless it absorbs the vast developments of Indian logic. It is a ten-thousand-year work of love and art.
In the Middle Ages, Indian logic went through a revolution; a new logic came into being, replacing the old. The new was even more complex, but more comprehensive too. The man who helped the science of logic to reach its peak was a unique personality. He was so physically beautiful too, that people have forgotten his original name; they simply call him Gaurang Prabhu, “a beautiful god.”
As he was getting to a marriageable age, his family was worried, because he was continuously studying, arguing…he never showed any ordinary, mundane interests. He was in his own category.
They were afraid. If he said no, then it was no forever, so one had to be very diplomatic with such a person. To bring out the yes, you cannot be straightforward, just asking a question. But finally it had to be asked.
They tried in different ways to work it out, but anyway marriage had to be mentioned. And knowing Gaurang very well…if he says yes, then nothing can prevent him. The whole tradition of celibacy will not prevent him – but if he says no, then there is no hope at all.
They were very loving towards him, creating an atmosphere, waiting for the right moment, and Gaurang was watching the whole scene that was going on in the house.
One evening, he went to his father and he said, “Why this unnecessary drama? You just be sincere and honest. What do you want from me?”
The father said, “We never wanted to confront you or to put you in a position where you have to choose between yes and no – but since you are asking, the question is marriage. We have found a beautiful woman. Are you willing to marry?”
He said, “I have been marrying for many, many lives. And the only result has been misery and anguish and anxiety. In my past lives, twice I have committed suicide. Once I have killed a woman – my wife! I am not such an idiot, to go on repeating the same circle – I am jumping out of it. I am not saying no, I am not saying yes. I am simply out of it. Even a relationship of ‘no’ is dangerous because ‘no’ can be changed into ‘yes’; they are not as separate as they appear. ‘Yes’ can become any time ‘no.’ So I am not saying yes or no because I am simply out of the vicious circle.”
I don’t know whether the father understood him or not, but what he is saying is of great importance.