All your poetries, all your songs about love, are just substitutes so that you can sing without entering into it, so that you can feel that you are loving without loving. And love is such a deep need that you cannot live without it; either the real or some substitute is needed. The substitute may be false, but at least for a time, for the time being, it gives you the feeling that you are in love. And even the false is enjoyed. Sooner or later you will realize that it is false; then you are not going to change the false love into real love – then you will change the lover or the beloved.
These are the two possibilities: when you come to know that this love is false you can change, you can drop this false love and become a real lover. The other possibility is to change the partner. And this is how your mind functions: whenever you feel, “This love has not given me the bliss it promised, rather on the contrary, I have become more miserable” – you think the other is deceiving, not that you are deceiving.
Nobody can deceive you except yourself…so you feel the other is deceiving, the other is responsible: change the wife, change the husband, change the master, change the god, move from Buddha’s temple to Mahavira’s temple, change your religion, change your prayer, don’t go to the mosque, go to the church – change the other. Then again for a time you will have the feeling that you are in love, in prayer. But sooner or later again the false will be known – because it cannot satisfy. You can befool yourself, but how long can one befool oneself…? Then again you have to change – the other.
If you come to realize the other is not the problem, that your love is false…you have been talking about it, you have not been doing anything to enter into it – you are afraid and scared. Love is death-like, and if you are afraid of death you will also be afraid of love. In death only your body dies. The essential, the ego that looks essential to you, remains safe. The mind, that appears significant to you, is carried on further into another life. Your inner identity remains the same; only the outer garb, the clothes, change in death.
So death is never very deep, it is just superficial. And if you are afraid of death, how can you be ready to enter into love? Because in love not only the garb, not only the house, but you die – the mind, the ego dies. This fear of death becomes the fear of love, and the fear of love becomes the fear of prayer, meditation. These three things are similar: death, love, meditation. And the route is the same but you have to move on it. And if you have never loved you cannot pray, you cannot do meditation. And if you have never loved and meditated, you will miss the beautiful experience of death completely.
If you have loved, then death is such a beautiful and intense experience that you cannot compare it with anything in life. Life can never be so deep as death, because life is spread out over seventy, eighty years. Death is in a single moment – so intense; life can never be so intense. And death is the culmination, it is not the end. It is the culmination, the very peak; your whole life you have been making effort to reach it. And what stupidity – when you reach to the peak you are so afraid, you feel so dizzy, you close your eyes, you become so scared that you become unconscious. People die, they die in an unconscious state. They miss the experience.