One scientist, Lorenz, trained a female fish just to do the opposite: that whenever she comes across the male, go, take the initiative, jump upon the male fish. And Lorenz was surprised: whenever this was done, the male fish was so much afraid; the male fish could not believe his own eyes, what is happening! And the male fish was unable to make love – a sudden impotence! The mechanism works in a certain way: the female has to be seductive but unavailable – not absolutely unavailable because that will destroy the whole game, just a pretension of unavailability. That excites the male energy. That makes the male more and more interested, obsessed. He is functioning at the optimum, and when he is functioning at the optimum he makes love easily – because the male mind, whether in men or in mice, is the same. The male mind wants to conquer.
And, Sant, you are in the same situation like the male fish. Now female fish are jumping upon you, making you afraid, and you are trying to hide the fact in a beautiful religious term: detachment. It is nothing! If you feel it is detachment, just go to the Himalayas for one month – sit in a cave, and you will think only of women and women!
I am just like another Lorenz. This commune is a pond, and I am training female fish to embrace every male fish!
When one is really detached – out of understanding, out of meditation – then there is no detachment either; that thing has to be understood. When one is really detached one is neither attached nor detached. The whole thing becomes irrelevant as if there is no question anymore of attraction, of non-attraction. The whole question drops. You are simply yourself. You don’t think in terms of women, women don’t think in terms of men. Thinking, “I am attached” – or “detached” – means you are still thinking in terms of women.
Real detachment – that which comes out of understanding – has no reference to the other. You are simply yourself, utterly joyous, happy, so blissful that you don’t need the other. The other has been forgotten completely, the other exists no more. A woman will pass and you will not think whether she is a man or a woman. That is transcending your biology, and that is one of the greatest things in life – to transcend your biology – because only then, for the first time, you become something superior to the animals. Otherwise there is not much difference, maybe some difference of quantity but not of quality. Unless you transcend biology you remain part of the animal kingdom, another species of animal, that’s all.
Now watch your detachment, whether it is fear or understanding. Have you understood the stupidity of the whole game? If you have understood, then you will not ask, “Now what is next?” There is nothing next then. You have transcended biology and you will be really at rest with yourself. You will become orgasmic without the help of the other. And orgasmicness will become so natural, so spontaneous, it will have no reference to sex at all.
A Buddha is orgasmic twenty-four hours a day because he is rejoicing each moment in its totality; there is nothing more. If you have transcended the biology, if sex has disappeared – through understanding, remember, not through some kind of repression or fear – then you have entered into God, you have become divine.
The third question:
Whatever I do, I try too hard. Please tell us about Buddha’s “Right effort.”