One has to move forward. Knowingly, unknowingly, one is moving every moment. If you move knowingly, then the speed is accelerated. If you move knowingly, then you don’t waste energy and time. Then the thing can happen even in one life which will not happen in a million lives if you just move unknowingly, because if you move unknowingly you move in a circle. Every day you repeat the same, in every life you repeat again the same. And life becomes just a habit, a mechanical habit, a repetition. Knowingly if you break the repetitive habit, there is a breakthrough.
So the first thing to know towards awareness is: you are aware in such a small measure that your awareness works only as a starter. Unless you have more awareness than unawareness, more consciousness than unconsciousness, the balance will not change. And what are the hindrances? Why is this the situation? Why this facticity? Why this conflict between conscious and unconscious? We should consider it.
It is natural. Whatsoever is is natural. Man has evolved through millions of years. This evolution has created you, your body, your mechanism. This evolution has been a long struggle, millions and millions of experiences – of failures, of successes. Your body has learned much; your body has been continuously learning things. Your body knows much, and its knowledge is fixed. It goes on repeating its own ways of behaving. Even if the situation has changed, the body remains the same.
For example, when you feel anger you feel it in the same way as any primitive man, you feel it in the same way as any animal, you feel it in the same way as any child. And this is the mechanism: when you feel anger your body has a fixed routine ritual, a routine work to do. The moment your mind says “Anger!” you have glands which begin to release chemicals into the blood. Adrenaline is released into the blood. It is a necessity, because in anger you will have to strike or you may be struck by your opponent. You will need more blood circulation; this chemical will help more circulation. You may need to fight, or you may need to escape from the situation, to run away. In both cases, this chemical will help.
So when some animal is angry, the body begins to be ready to fight or to take flight. And these are the two alternatives: if the animal feels that he is stronger than the opponent, he will fight; if he feels that he is not the stronger one, he will escape. And the mechanism works very smoothly.
But for man the situation has become totally different. When you feel anger, you may not even express it. That is impossible for the animal. It depends on the situation. If it is your servant, then you may express it. If it is your master, then you may not express it. Not only that: you may even laugh, smile; you may even persuade your master, your boss, that not only are you not angry, but you are very happy. Now you are confusing the whole mechanism of the body. The body is ready to fight, and now you are smiling. You are creating a mess in the body. The body cannot understand you: “What are you doing? Are you mad? Do two things which are natural: fight or escape.”