So drop this now and move. It is dangerous I know, because you are moving into the area of another, you are losing your control. You will no longer be on your own and that ego, that self-sufficiency of the ego will not be there. But as you leave your control, simultaneously the other is leaving his. In fact when you live with another person, it is not a surrender from the woman to the man or from the man to the woman. In fact both surrender to love, to something in between. Both are enriched, nobody loses out.
You have been fooling around long enough. Now drop all this. One can miss the opportunity. There is a time, a right time, and there is a right person – but you can miss it. You may continue searching but nobody knows whether you will again be able to find the right person, in the right moment.
And he loves you. There is no need to make any bondage, no need to make any legal institution around you. I am not in favor of marriage – there is no need for it. There is a higher union which is more than marriage.
What about children?
First move as deeply into love as possible. Till then avoid having children, because children should come out of a tremendous love, otherwise not. You can give birth to ordinary children, who are just by-products of a physiological and biological meeting of man and woman, but they are anonymous.
When two people move higher and higher in love, and a point comes where their personalities are no longer separate and boundaries dissolve, then they give birth to children. Then the children come from a higher plane. They have a personality of love – they are not only by-products of sex. They carry a deep harmony within them, and if you become aware, you can see whether the child is a by-product of a sexual meeting or a by-product of love. A different aura surrounds the child, a different vibration, because he has to carry that original quality of oneness.
When a child is born out of love you give something to the world. When a child is just from a sexual meeting, you simply over-populate the world; you don’t give anything. Remember also, that when you give birth to a child out of deep love, out of surrender and meditation, something is simultaneously born in you. You become a mother.
Every woman who gives birth to a child is not necessarily a mother; it is not enough just to give birth. To become a mother your own heart should have bloomed. There are many women who have given birth to children, but there are very few mothers. To be a mother is a rare harmony and a unique experience. This is my observation: if a woman can become really motherly – she may give birth to a child or not, that is not the point – if she can become motherly, that is her enlightenment and none other is needed. That is her buddhahood.