One of my friends left India in his childhood and spent twenty years in Germany. His mother tongue was Marathi, but he forgot it. After speaking German for twenty years he had no memory of Marathi – he could not read it, he could not even speak it, let alone understand it. Then suddenly, due to an accident, he fell ill. His brother went to Germany from India. The hospital staff requested him to stay in the hospital with his sick brother even though it was against the hospital rules to stay overnight. But he had to stay, because whatever language the brother spoke in his unconscious state was unknown to the hospital staff. It was only when he was conscious that he would speak German. And his brother was amazed that when the sick brother was unconscious he spoke Marathi; when conscious he could not even understand Marathi, but while unconscious he spoke only Marathi and could not speak a single word of German. In the unconscious state he could not understand any German at all.
The food which creates the very first layer of the mental body is the deepest. So one may later learn another language but it cannot have the depth of one’s mother tongue. It is impossible, there just is no way, because the first layer created in the mental body will always remain the first, all other layers will be created afterwards.
Language, words, thoughts, all these create a body within us. The more cultured and well-educated someone is, the bigger this mental body is. But this body is not visible to us as a body; hence we go on throwing all kinds of thoughts into the mental body without caring. A man reading his newspaper in the morning doesn’t understand that this newspaper is also creating his mental body. Walking along the street reading the posters on the walls, he cannot even conceive that these words are entering him and creating his mind.
We are totally unaware how we are creating our minds, hence our life is a chaos. If we were as unaware in creating our physical bodies as we are about creating our minds, even the physical body would become a problem. We do not choose to eat gravel and pebbles, but as far as the mind is concerned what we eat is much worse than that. It all creates the mind, whatever enters into the mind knowingly or unknowingly becomes a part of it. But we are not aware that our mental body is being created every moment; whatever we hear, whatever we read, whatever we think, whatever words resound within us create our mental body. If your neighbor tells you something meaningless you never say, “Please, don’t put all this garbage into me.” Although you may or may not be aware just how easy it is to absorb it, nevertheless it is very difficult to throw it out.
If I have put a word into you, it is not so easy to throw it out. Try it and you will know. I can say the word Ram to you; now however you try, you will not be able to get rid of it all night, instead it will go even deeper and settle inside because the more you try to get rid of it the more you will remember it. That which we want to forget first has to be remembered in order to forget it. And every time we remember it, we strengthen it.
That’s why when you want to forget someone it becomes impossible. You may forget about someone, that is another thing, but it is very difficult to consciously forget someone, and even then that forgetting will just be superficial, it will not be erased from within. The mind doesn’t lose anything, it is a great collector. The mental body goes on collecting in very subtle ways. Whatever it has received as a thought wave, even in past lives, is collected. It is essential to understand this mental body – because only then can it be transcended.