The whole logic is wrong. Whenever you feel something tension-like is gathering, share. Catch hold of any stranger, because in fact all are strangers. Some strangers you have known for a few years, some for a few months, some a few days, some you have just come to know, but all are strangers. Even your husband with whom you have lived for years is a stranger. Two strangers living together by and by become familiar, that’s all.
Run and share with anybody, but never be miserly. I have been watching; you are becoming a little miserly. And you can like yourself only when you love. In fact when somebody likes you, only then can you like yourself.
Each relationship is a mirror; it reveals your identity to you. Each relationship brings you something of your inner heart which was unknown to you before. Man is such an infinity that thousands of relationships are needed – the father, the mother, the brother, sister, husband, wife, friend. Thousands of types of relationships are needed to reveal you from every corner, from every aspect of your being, so that you know all your faces. Even then, all that you know about yourself will be less than you are. It can never be more than you, and it can never be equal to you because you are such an infinity that all the mirrors of the world cannot exhaust you. Something will always remain elusive.
Share more, and let sharing be the only law. To be a miser is to be a sinner. That is my definition of being a sinner. We are here for such a short time; why be a miser? Share, and whatsoever you give, give wholeheartedly and much will come automatically. Not that you ask for it or demand it; it just comes. The whole of existence re-echoes you.
So try it for one month. Just be a sharer, and then see. Then you will love yourself, because that is the only way: if you love others you love yourself. If you don’t love others, by and by you will come to hate yourself.
I feel like I’m getting higher, you know, lighter and more present and better. But each time it happens, I find some way to get myself down again and I don’t know how to deal with that.
No, don’t try to deal with it – accept it. As it is, accept it. When it goes high, you go high. When you start bringing yourself down, watch that too, with total acceptance. No need to make any interference.
Just accept coming to the height and going down to the valley. Accept both as if you are unconcerned whether it is high or low. Watch as if it is happening to somebody else, not to you. Then immediately it will disappear.
If you go on doing something it will not disappear, because effort cannot help here. There are places in your inner growth where effort is needed, and there are places where effort is a hindrance. This is a place where it won’t be helpful.
For one month accept whatsoever happens, and you will see that your highs are growing higher and higher, and simultaneously your depth will become deeper and deeper – but now you will be able to enjoy both.