She actually made almost all the railroad lines in India full of flowers, and people said, “When you will not see them again, what is your joy?”
She said, “My joy is that so many people will be joyful. I am not a miser. Whatever I can do to make people joyful, happy, I will do; it is part of my love.” She really loved humanity, and did everything that she felt was right.
Just give your love to anybody – a stranger. It is not a question that you have to give something very valuable, just a helping hand and that will be enough. In twenty-four hours, whatever you do should be done with love, and the pain in your heart will disappear. And because you will be loving so much, people will love you. It is a natural law. You get what you give. In fact you get more than you give.
Learn giving, and you will find so many people being loving towards you who had never looked at you, who had never bothered about you.
Your problem is that you have a heart full of love but you have been a miser; that love has become a burden on the heart. Rather than making the heart blossom you have been hoarding it, so once in a while when you are in a moment of love you feel it disappearing. But why one moment? Why not every moment? It is not even a question of a living being. You can touch this chair with a loving hand. The thing depends on you, not on the object.
Then you will find a great relaxation and a great disappearance of your self – which is a burden – and a melting into the whole.
This is certainly a disease, in the literal meaning of the word: it is a dis-ease. It is not sickness, so no physician can help you. It is simply a tense state of your heart which simply wants to give more and more. Perhaps you have more love than other people, perhaps you are more fortunate, and you are making out of your fortune a great misery for yourself. Share it, without bothering to whom you are giving. Just give it, and you will find tremendous peace and silence. This will become your meditation.
One can come to meditation through many directions; perhaps this is going to be your direction.
What I find really amazing about your childhood is that, unlike most of us as children, you seem to have an intrinsic and undeniable understanding that your parents’ interpretation of reality and your experience of reality were often two different things. You insist that you are no different from us, yet this facet of your childhood alone is more than enough evidence that you house the most unique sort of intelligence.
I would be grateful for your comment.