Love is very delicate, fragile. If you look at it, gaze at it directly, it will disappear. It comes only when you are unaware, doing something else. You cannot go directly, arrow-like. Love is not a target. It is a very subtle phenomenon…it is very shy. If you go direct, it will hide. If you do something direct, you will miss.
The world has become very stupid about love. They want it immediately. They want it like instant coffee – whenever you want, order, and it is there. Love is a delicate art; it is nothing you can do really.
Sometimes those rare blissful moments come…then something of the unknown descends. You are no longer on the earth, you are in paradise. Reading a book with your lover, both deeply absorbed in it, suddenly you find that a different quality of being has arisen around you both; something surrounds you both like an aura, and everything is peaceful. But you were not doing anything directly. You were just reading a book, or just going for a long walk, hand in hand against the strong wind – suddenly it is there. It always takes you unawares. So learn to do things together.
I have watched so many people, thousands of couples. People have completely forgotten the language of doing things together, or not doing anything, just being together, just being. People have forgotten that. If they have nothing to do they make love. Then nothing happens, and by and by they are frustrated by love itself, and then the whole of life loses meaning, because if love loses meaning, life loses meaning.
Man and woman are different – not only different, they are opposite; they cannot fit together. And that’s the beauty – when they fit together it is a miracle, a magic moment. Otherwise they conflict and fight. That’s natural and can be understood, because they have different minds. Their outlooks are polar opposites. They cannot agree on anything, because their ways are different, their logic is different.
To fit in a deep tune, to fall in deep harmony, is almost miraculous. It is like a Kohinoor, and one should not ask for it every day. One should not ask for it as part of a routine. One should wait for it. Months, sometimes years pass, and then suddenly it is there. And it is always out of the blue, uncaused, mm? Do you follow me? Don’t be worried – it will take care of itself. And don’t become a seeker after love, otherwise you will miss it completely.
I wish to express my feelings about myself by quoting an Italian proverb to you: All smoke, no fire.
Right! One day will come when you will be all flame and no smoke. I will turn the proverb upside down!