Your whole focus should be on those beautiful moments that happen to you, those orgasmic spaces. Fill them with all your energy, and slowly, slowly it is an absolute inevitability that that which is blissful is going to win over the suffering, that which is ecstatic is going to win over the agony – unless you decide to pay more attention to the agony and take the ecstasy just for granted. Then there will be trouble.
So the only thing to remember is: pour your attention and love, and rejoice and feel grateful for those moments which give you orgasmic blissfulness. The others are not to be even talked about. Let them come…it is good that they are surfacing.
Now there are three things you can do. You can repress them – then you will not get rid of them, they will come again – or you can give nourishment to them. That will make them stronger and your orgasmic moments will become shorter, fewer. And the third thing is: don’t repress them and don’t give attention to them. Just accept them. It is your past; it is dead. It will go away by itself. Don’t even fight with them – because fighting is another name for suppression, and fighting is also giving attention to them.
Sandy MacTavish, a young Scotsman, went down to London for a holiday. When he returned, his friend Hamish asked how it was. “All right,” said Sandy, “but they are funny folk down there.”
“Why is that?” asked Hamish.
“Well,” said Sandy, “one night, very late, it must have been about two in the morning, a man came banging on the door. He screamed and shouted and was in a really nasty temper – at two o’clock, man.”
“And what did you do?” asked Hamish.
“I didn’t do anything,” replied Sandy, “I just went on quietly playing my bagpipes.”
Just a little awareness, and all problems can be solved so easily!
But the mind’s tendency is negative. And it is not only for you, it is for all to remember that mind tends to be negative, because the negative balance of the mind is big. Your suffering has been long, your pains have been too many, your agonies too much, your failures innumerable.
If you count the moments of joy, you will be surprised that in the whole life of a man he may not be able to find even ten moments of joy to be counted on ten fingers. But if you want to listen to his miseries, the story is so long! It is his whole life…a seventy-year-long story of misery.
And if you think of many other past lives…the same is true about them. Naturally, the negative is too heavy on you. It is such a mountainous load, it is a vast dark night around you. And what are your pleasures? – just a few fireflies here and there in the deep darkness. Naturally you tend unknowingly, unconsciously, to pay more attention to the negative. You don’t pay attention to the positive. The positive has been so small that it has not made even a dent in you.