Sometimes I realize how much I am afraid of the unknown. I have experienced moments of total trust and moments of bliss.
What are the tricks of the mind to avoid these beautiful experiences again and again?
The tricks of the mind are very simple. One: when the moment of trust and bliss has passed, the mind starts thinking of whether it was true or illusory. However long you may have been in a blissful state, as you come out of it the mind questions it: “It is not reality because you are not always in it. So it was a dream, an illusion, a hallucination; it cannot be otherwise.” The argument of the mind is based on doubt.
Mind is in such a low state – so miserable, so suffering, so much in anguish – that from that state, to conceive a moment of bliss is almost impossible.
We are brought up as mind – and these divine moments just happen. In fact they happen only when we are not prepared. They come just like a breeze – and they are gone. Before the breeze came there was suffering, anxiety; after it has gone there is again suffering and anxiety.
It is very natural for the mind to conclude that anguish is its nature; doubt is its quality, and these things that happen once in a while are not part of it. And they are not part of it. When they are there, they are really strong; but when they are gone, just to think that you had a moment of trust and love becomes impossible.
The mind is you, and this is your day-to-day reality; you have to face it moment to moment. And those rare moments are so rare, that compared to your mind – standing in your mind with all your conditionings – it is very natural that they will look illusory.
Almost everybody in the world gets those moments once or twice in life. But because the mind is such a long process, those moments are not only thought to be inauthentic, they are thought to be nonexistential…as if you have imagined them. They have never been there; it is just that your memory, tired of all the anguish and anxiety, has imagined them.
It is like when you are in a desert – hot, burning, thirsty – and you see an oasis far away. It looks absolutely real. You want it to be real, you cannot afford to think that it is unreal. You move towards the oasis and you find nothing there.
The same happens in such moments. Later on they go on fading; the mind takes its grip back and starts telling you that it is just a trick of your own memory: you wanted those moments – the memory created them. But they have no reality; otherwise why have they gone? – the reality is that which persists.
And mind’s logic looks very valid.
Still, it is wrong. Those few moments are real – and the mind is unreal. The mind has been trained, conditioned from the very beginning. It is a miracle that in spite of this mind you can get some of those moments.