While your parents are alive you can go on believing that you are not going to die. But once your parents are dead, how can you go on believing that you are not going to die? Even those who had given birth to you, they are no more there; the source has disappeared. The roots have disappeared – sooner or later you will disappear.
Live it! Cry, weep, be sad, let tears come. Pour your whole heart into it. Don’t be afraid, don’t be shy, don’t be embarrassed. If you can live it in totality you will come out of it more mature, more grown up, more grounded, and capable of living more happily.
This will look strange – out of unhappiness, how can we live more happily? Yes, this is how it is, this is how it works. Just like the pendulum of a clock – it goes to the right, to the very extreme right, and from there it starts moving to the left. While it is going to the right it is gathering momentum to go to the left. When it is going to the left it is gaining momentum to go to the right. Life moves between these two opposite banks; life is a river between these two shores.
If you have really gone deep into sadness, you are going to go into happiness as deep as your sadness was. People are miserable and people are not happy because they don’t allow their misery. When they don’t allow their misery they don’t allow their happiness either. The swing is going to be proportionate – if it moves one mile towards sadness, it will move one mile towards happiness. It will be always in proportion; life goes on balancing. If you can go ten miles into sadness, you will go ten miles into happiness – exactly like that.
So live whatsoever is there, live it in totality. I am not saying in perfection, because these are two different things. When you live in totality, you don’t have any ideal. When you start living perfectly, you have an ideal.
For example, if you are crying, to be total means cry your heart, the way it feels to you. But if you are a perfect one, you will look around – “Who is the perfect crier? Whose crying is perfect? Who is the master of crying?” Find the master, learn from him the technique, and make him the ideal. How big the tears are which come to his eyes, and how they flow, and how he pours his heart, with what art and skill. So you learn the skill and the art, and you bring big tears to your eyes. That will be false. Perfection is always false – you are imitating. Because perfection has to have an ideal, and all ideals create imitators.
Totality is yours, perfection is borrowed – that’s the basic difference. Perfection you learn from somebody else. If you want to become a perfect man, how will you become one? Buddha, Mahavira, Krishna, Christ, they become your ideals: Be like a Christ, then you are the perfect Christian. Be like Buddha, then you are a perfect Buddhist. But what can you do? If you want to be like a Buddha you will be just an imitation, you will be plastic; you will not be real and authentic. You cannot be a Buddha, a Buddha happens only once. Existence never repeats – existence always grows into new dimensions and new beings. You will be cheating yourself, and you will be cheating the world, and the existence will never forgive you for that.