I said to that friend, “Do you think that tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, you will have more intelligence? No, all that has happened is that right now an urge has arisen in you in this atmosphere, in the waves of meditation surrounding you, under the impact of the bliss and freedom of so many sannyasins here, but by the time you are going down Mount Abu – as your bus is descending towards the plains – you too will be descending from your idea of taking sannyas. It will be amazing if this idea remains with you to the Abu Road railway station at the foot of Mount Abu. Getting down from your bus at the railway station you will take a deep, cool sigh of relief that it is good that you are returning the same as you had come, that you did not lose anything here, that you did not venture into anything that will create unnecessary trouble. After a month you will not even be able to remember it.
“This atmosphere, the presence of so many people, the collective effort of so many people, raises you also to an unaccustomed height. You are dancing in the kirtan meditation: are you sure you will be able to dance with the same totality and the same drowning feeling all by yourself? It is not so much that you are dancing, but that the dancing of so many people becomes infectious – it touches you. Their vibrations begin to stimulate your heart; their movement, their steps create an opportunity for the movement of your steps too. And, above all, the pattern of your thinking is always the same as others. So where all are dancing, one thing is certain: nobody is going to say anything to the one who is dancing – but someone may say something to the one who is only standing by. So it creates a stimulus; you feel free – it is alright, there is no problem, one can dance here.
“As you get down from the bus in the crowd of the marketplace, this glimpse you had of a certain height, the jump you had taken that raised your eyes towards the sky, will fade. Now your eyes will again be focused towards the earth. So why do you hope that tomorrow or the day after tomorrow you will be able to make a decision? It is you who has to make the decision, and that can be done today.”
But that friend said, “It is not that I have not made any effort to make a decision. Ninety-nine percent of my mind is decided, it is just a matter of the one percent more.”
I asked him, “Haven’t you done anything in your life where ninety-nine percent of your mind was ready and one percent was not? Have you ever before not made a decision because of that one percent?” I also asked him, “Do you understand what you are saying? Your mind is ninety-nine percent decided to take sannyas, only one percent is not, and you are deciding in favor of the one percent.”
And don’t think that you can avoid making a decision. There is no way in this world to avoid making a decision. You may decide against, but that too is a decision. You may decide to postpone it for tomorrow, that too is a decision. In the world you have the freedom to make any decision, but you don’t have the freedom not to make a decision. That is not possible.
One is bound to make a decision. But one interesting thing is that we think our decision not to do something is not a decision. It is a very amazing concept. That friend had no comprehension that to take sannyas is a decision and not to take sannyas is also a decision. If both are decisions, then the mind is very amazing when it sides with the one percent and does not gather courage to go with the ninety-nine percent in favor.