I have not read anything for years because the doctors said that if I read I will have to wear glasses, and I hate glasses. I cannot think of myself wearing glasses. I would rather close my eyes. I don’t want to create any barrier, even that of transparent glass, between me and that which surrounds me. So I have to depend on someone to read for me.
The words apparent injustice exactly show his heart. He knows it is only apparent, but it certainly looks unjust when you are not giggling and suddenly I say, “Devageet, don’t giggle!” Naturally he is taken aback; and poor Devageet is just taking his notes.
Again I am reminded of Pagal Baba, because I was talking about him this morning and I am going to continue. He used to say apparently meaningless sentences to people. Not only that, sometimes actually hitting them! Not like me, but literally, actually. I don’t actually hit, not because I don’t want to, just because I am absolutely lazy. Once or twice I have tried, then my hand hurt. I don’t know whether the person learned anything or not, but my hand said, “Please don’t try this trick again.”
But Pagal Baba used to hit for no reason at all. Somebody may have been just sitting silently by his side, and he would give the person a good slap. The person had not done anything, he had not even said anything. Sometimes people would object that it was unjust, and say to Pagal Baba, “Baba, why did you hit him?”
He would laugh and say, “You know I am pagal, a madman.” That was enough of an explanation as far as he was concerned. That explanation won’t do for me…so mad that even the most intelligent cannot decipher what kind of madness this is. Pagal Baba was a simple madman; I am a multidimensional madman.
So, if sometimes you feel that it is apparently unjust, then remember the word apparent. I cannot do anything unjust, particularly to those who love me. How can love be unjust? But “apparently,” perhaps it has to be many times. One never knows the ways of people like me. I may be hitting Ashu and really aiming at Devaraj. It is a very complicated phenomenon. It cannot be computerized.
It is so complicated that I don’t think any computer will become a master. He will become everything else – an engineer, a doctor, a dentist, everything possible – and be more efficient than any human being can be. But there are only two things that a computer can’t do: one is, he cannot be alive. He can hum with mechanical noise but he cannot be alive. He cannot know what life is.
The second is a corollary of the first: he cannot become a master. To know life is to be a master. Just to be alive is one thing, everybody is. But to turn upon oneself, to one’s own being, to see the seer, or to know the knower – this is what I mean by turning upon oneself – then one becomes a master. A computer cannot turn upon itself, that is not possible.
Devageet, your letter was beautiful, and you cried. I feel happy about it. Anything authentic is helpful on the way, and nothing can be as authentic as tears. Yes, there are professional weepers, but then they have to use tricks.