But don’t start dropping the ego. You cannot drop it because it is a fiction, not a fact. If you start dropping it you will create another fiction – that “I have become egoless.” If you start dropping it, if you start becoming humble, if you practice humility, you will become egoistic again in a new way. You will start thinking, “I am the most humble man in the world, the humblest.”
Three monks were talking. One was a Trappist monk. He said, “Nobody can compete with us as far as asceticism is concerned.” Trappist monks are really very ascetic; the most neurotic of all the kinds of Christian monks.
The second was a Catholic monk. He said, “That’s right. But nobody can compete with us as far as knowledge of the scripture is concerned.”
And they both looked at the third, a Baptist monk. They wanted him to declare what goods he had. The monk said, “We are nobodies as far as asceticism goes, we are nobodies as far as knowledge goes, but as far as humbleness is concerned, we are the top.”
Humbleness…and “We are the top!”
This is how the human ego functions. You cannot drop it – because it is not, how can you drop it? You can drop something if it is. You cannot fight with it, how can you fight with something which is not? You cannot kill it, how can you kill it when it is not?
Then what can one do? One can only understand. One can look into the mechanism of it – how this whole fiction functions. Once you have looked into the fiction through and through, from one corner to another, from A to Z, it is not that you drop the ego – in that very insight the ego disappears. In fact, to say that it disappears is not right, it was never there. You come to realize that you were believing in a nonentity. It was not there from the very beginning.
It is just as if you stay in a room and somebody has told you that there is a ghost in the room. Now you cannot sleep. It is not that the ghost is there, it is the idea that there is a ghost and if you fall asleep there may be some danger – the ghost may jump upon you, may sit upon you, may drink your blood or something. Ghosts are unreliable people. One never knows what the ghost will do. You cannot sleep, you cannot afford to sleep.
And the more sleepless, the more tired you become, the more and more you will believe in the ghost – because the weaker you become, the stronger the ghost becomes. In the middle of the night, when the whole world has fallen asleep and everything is silent, you will become more afraid – now you are absolutely alone. Everybody has fallen asleep. Even the traffic has stopped. Now there is nobody. If the ghost comes you are left alone. Even if you scream now nobody is going to hear. Now you will be more troubled. And a small rat passing by, or just a bird fluttering outside in a tree, or a dry leaf moving on the road in the wind – that is enough! You can lose all your consciousness.