And you are in a dark valley.
And anyway Maneesha, neither do I have any personality nor any personal life.
Reduced to its simplest: I talk to you twice if my body allows. Once in a while it freaks out. Then two times a bath – just a quick shower, as quick as one can do. Fifteen hundred calories of food – which even small babies will find insufficient – because if I take more I will have to become a member of the Couch Potato Club.
I don’t have any antagonism as far as potatoes are concerned. They are very good people; they have never done any harm to anybody. But still I don’t want to enter into that company.
So for your information, this is my autobiography.
…And then two times of sleep – in total eighteen hours. I don’t have any ambition for tomorrow. If by chance I am still here I will talk to you about things which may help you on the path. If I am not here perhaps that may also help you, because then you cannot take me for granted. Perhaps my remembrance may give you much more light than I can give you.
Never take me for granted, because I have nothing to stay for: no desire, no ambition, nowhere to go. I have not even visited the M.G. Road market. I hope that some time, by chance…
Just a few days ago I had to go to Jehangir Hospital to see one of my old lovers, Manik Bafna, because he had a second heart attack. If it was the first I would not have gone. A second is too much. The third is the last – after the third also I will not go, because there is no point. The right point was the second.
And I heard from sannyasins that there is a rumor in the hospital that I had a heart attack, and I had come to be checked, but I did not like the place so I did not go – because within two minutes I was out. Naturally the hospital servants and doctors must have thought that I did not like the place. Who likes places like hospitals?
So Maneesha, there is not much. I think I could have given you more information – Maneesha is writing books about me; she would have been helped – but I am helpless. You can invent anything you like. I will say yes, so you need not be worried. Even if you say that I have a wife and five children, I am not going to contradict it. What is wrong in it? Everybody has a wife, everybody has many children. And there is no harm; one really feels proud.
But it is better not to ask such questions.
Adolf Hitler is inspecting his panzer division. Every boot and button is shining bright and there is a deathly silence over the parade ground.
All of a sudden someone sneezes.
“Who sneezed?” Hitler shrieks at the men.