Only after you have moved in deep love and the ego has really been dropped – there is something very valuable which can be got only if you drop the ego, and that price has to be paid – when you have really loved deeply, then a new kind of integration will arise in you.
Love does two things: first it takes the ego away, then it gives you the center. Love is a great alchemy.
There are three kinds of love – I call them love one, love two, love three. The first love is object-oriented; there is an object of love. You see a beautiful woman, really graceful, with a proportionate body. You are thrilled. You think you are falling in love. Love has arisen in you because the woman is beautiful, because the woman is nice, because the woman is good. Something from the object has stirred love in you. You are not really the master of it; the love is coming from the outside. You may be a very unloving person, you may not have the quality, you may not have that benediction, but because the woman is beautiful you think love is arising in you. It is object-oriented.
This is the ordinary love. This is what is known as eros. It is lust. How to possess this beautiful object? How to exploit this beautiful object? How to make her your own? But remember, if the woman is beautiful she is not only beautiful for you, she is beautiful for many. So there will be many people falling in love with her. And there is going to be great jealousy, competition, and all kinds of uglinesses that come in love, in so called love.
Mulla Nasruddin married a very ugly woman, the ugliest possible. Naturally the friends were puzzled and they asked Mulla, “You have money, you have prestige, you could have got any beautiful woman that you wanted, why have you chosen this ugly woman?”
He said, “There is a reason for it. I will never suffer from jealousy. This woman will always be faithful to me. I cannot believe anybody falling in love with her. In fact, even I am not in love with her. It is impossible. So I know nobody can love her.”
With Mohammedans it is a tradition that when the wife comes for the first time she asks the husband – because the Mohammedan woman has to remain behind a purdah, behind a curtain, she cannot show her face to everybody – so the woman asks the husband, “To whom can I show my face and to whom am I not allowed to show my face?”
So when the woman asked Mulla, “To whom can I show my face and to whom am I not allowed to show it?” Mulla said, “You can show it to everybody except me!”