It has been discovered that if you look at a woman for more than three seconds, it is unspiritual. Three seconds is casual. Just passing on the road, you cannot avoid it; a woman comes there, a Cleopatra walks by – three seconds is casual. Beyond that, your eyes are touching the woman – a distant touch, like a remote control. And if you stare in the eyes of the woman more than three seconds, she will feel offended; you have already penetrated her body through her eyes. And it is not allowed by etiquette to look back again and again at the woman.
But do you know the meaning of the word respect? It means looking again. Respect does not mean honor, respect means you are enchanted. It is re-spect; you would like to see again…again…. Perhaps you will change your route and follow the woman.
In a more humane society the woman will not feel offended. And deep down she does not feel offended now. Even after thousands of centuries’ conditioning, her feeling of being offended is superficial. Deep down she rejoices, deep down the undercurrent of nature is there. Not to look at a woman again, not to look back, is certainly an insult. Not to look in the eyes of a man or woman for more than three seconds is humiliation. You have rejected the person, you have not been nice to the person.
Hugging is closer than seeing. If seeing makes people offended, if in shaking hands people shrink their energy back…. People use the phrase “a warm welcome,” but it rarely happens. It is always a cold welcome because your energy moves back. Your hand is just cold, not radiating warmth. There are dangers for the religious people: if your hand feels warm and the other person is also open to receive and give, things are not going to stop there.
If just two hands meeting in a warm glow give you so much joy, hugging the whole body will be a thousandfold more. And making love…? These are just steps. Hugging the body, you are close but still separate. Making love means you have entered into each other.
Your so-called phony saints, messiahs, prophets, have all been very cunning. They did not allow you the first step, because one thing leads to another, and finally it is going to end in a very deep sexual orgasm.
So you will not find the same quality, the same intensity in the outside world. If people hug, it is just out of etiquette, but they keep as distant as the stars are – millions of light-years distant. And have you watched, when you hug? You feel…not joyous, you are doing some duty. You have to hug your mother, your father, your sister on some occasions, but both of you keep aloof. The fear of sex has been so deeply programmed in you that anything that can lead toward sex is prohibited.
To me, to my people, warmth is life. In your sharing it, it grows. The more you share it, the more you have it. And each individual has a unique quality in his warmth. If you are sensuous enough-and that is what I want you to be – you will be surprised that in shaking hands with different people you find differences in energy. The quality, the force, the intensity, the flavor, the fragrance of it – everything is unique with every individual. But when you shake hands in a cold way, or hug a body as if two skeletons are meeting in a graveyard, then there is no difference.