It is like searching for the horse on which you are riding. You can rush in all directions – and you can have a very beautiful horse, a very powerful horse, and he can take you to the farthest corners of the earth – but still you will not find the horse because you are already riding on it.
Let me awaken you. Allow me to take your dreams away. What more way do you need? I am the way.
The second question:
Sometimes running here and there, talking, laughing, working, reading, writing and dreaming – the fact is: when the door closes behind and the eyes are shut – it is dark. Thoughts or no thoughts, feelings or no feelings – it is dark. Morning or night, any time inside – it is dark.
Looking inside for the looker – it is dark. Is “I” darkness?
Who is writing this question?
Yes, “I” is darkness, the ego is darkness, and if you look within and the looker is there, it will remain dark. Morning or evening won’t make any difference, thoughts or no thoughts won’t make any difference, because the I itself is the essential thought, the fundamental thought – the looker. It contains all thoughts and all feelings. You can look, but you have already divided yourself in two: the looker and the looked-upon. And this division is darkness, this duality is darkness, this split is darkness.
Oneness is luminous, oneness is light; twoness is darkness. So, whenever a meditator goes in, first he always encounters darkness, and that darkness is frightening. Who wants to go into that darkness? One becomes afraid, one wants to escape from it. In the beginning it is always so, but if you go on and go on and go on, and you stop even asking for light…. Why should you ask? If it is dark, it is dark. And darkness is perfectly right – and when darkness is perfectly right, darkness is absolutely bright.
Accept it. Love it. Embrace it. Feel one with it. And the moment the split disappears – when there is no looker and the looked-upon, no observer and the observed – then suddenly there will be light, and a light which needs no fuel, a light which is eternal.
But if you are divided, that light won’t happen to you. So what is to be done? You have to love this darkness, you have to fall into this darkness and disappear. Don’t search for the light. The search for the light will keep you distant, unloving, unavailable to the darkness, and that will be a barrier to light. Don’t search for light. If it is dark, it is dark. This is what Buddha calls tathata. If it is dark, it is dark. Don’t ask for something else, let it be dark, enjoy it. What is wrong with darkness?