“Just a minute,” said the doctor, “hold the light a little closer.”
“I don’t want to be difficult, doctor,” said Patrick, “but do you think this bloody light is attracting them?”
Children go on coming as the light is coming closer….
Remain joyous, wait with great love. Everything takes its own time, impatience makes no sense. Patience is the way of existence. Remain relaxed, because the more excited you become the farther away is the goal. The experience is going to happen only when you are utterly silent, just a pool of silence…your whole energy so relaxed, as if it is absent.
When you have become just a zero you become a womb. And out of this nothingness is born your original, your authentic reality.
I feel that I don’t love you enough, don’t appreciate you enough, am not open enough. I feel like I am trundling along in a creaky old bullock cart, while you are flying by in all your beauty and grace and vastness. Beloved Osho, I am exasperated by my state of retardation. Why is it that I don’t respond?
Prem Veena, it is something intrinsic to love that it always feels it is not enough. Only a small love feels enough. The greater the love, the more you are aware of the feeling that “I don’t love enough.” That is one of the signs of a great love.
If somebody comes and says to me, “I love you very much – I love you totally,” then his love is certainly going to be very small. Otherwise to love totally is a tremendous phenomenon; it will change you entirely.
So there is no need to be worried that your love is not enough. You want to love more, and if your love is great it will never be enough; it will always be something less than you wanted it to be.
And the same is true about appreciation. You say, “I don’t appreciate you enough, am not open enough.” Just a little appreciation and just a little opening is enough for my purposes. I can sneak in from any small opening! One thing is certain – you are not a China wall.
I can understand. You have been long enough with me and it is natural to expect…. But you don’t know how much you have changed. I remember exactly, photographically, the day you came to me. You had not come for yourself, you had come for a totally different reason. You had brought a young man; you had come for him.