So now you ask me – this is my interpretation of the story.
So your position is that the temptations to power will not or have not corrupted and undermined your movement as they historically have damaged other movements?
Every mind carries in the unconscious the lust for power. Unless you become totally conscious, awakened, you are bound to have in the darkness of your mind, the lust for power. All that is needed to bring it up is an opportunity.
I was in silence, in isolation – that became the opportunity for Sheela and her group to exploit the commune. I was not at all connected with the world for three and half years – no newspaper, no television, no radio – and I have told everybody not to bring me any information; I want to be completely silent. Only Sheela was given the duty, if commune needs something urgent that she cannot decide, she can come and ask me. So what she was doing: anything that was non-essential, she was asking me, and anything that was essential, she was deciding herself. She was informing me only nice things that she is doing and she was keeping me in dark about every criminal act that was going on. But there is a limit to everything.
Finally she became afraid that sooner or later I will come to know about it. So she tried to kill three persons who were also capable of approaching me – my physician, my dentist, my caretaker – that these three people are dangerous. They can inform me about things which she is hiding. And she tried to poison my caretaker, my physician. My physician she tried three times and just because he is a physician, he immediately became aware that something poisonous has been given to him, either in tea or in coffee, and then finally, I was made aware of it.
The moment I knew that this is happening, it was certain, then many more things must be happening. These things are never isolated. If you need to kill three people, particularly those who are close to me, that means there is much which you want to hide from me. I started speaking.
Could you tell us what moment was that? Describe the moment when you first became aware of Sheela’s activities.