Mind is dialectical, it makes you move again and again towards the opposite. And this is an infinite process, it never ends unless you suddenly drop out of it, unless you suddenly become aware of the game, unless you suddenly become aware of the trick of the mind, and you stop in the middle.
Stopping in the middle is meditation.
Thirdly, because mind consists of polarities, you are never whole. The mind cannot be whole; it is always half. When you love someone have you observed that you are suppressing your hatred? The love is not total, it is not whole; just behind it all the dark forces are hidden and they may erupt any moment. You are sitting on a volcano.
When you love someone, you simply forget that you have anger, you have hate, you have jealousy. You simply drop them as if they never existed. But how can you drop them? You can simply hide them in the unconscious. Just on the surface you can become loving, deep down the turmoil is hidden. Sooner or later when you are fed up, when the beloved has become familiar – and they say familiarity breeds contempt… It is not that familiarity breeds contempt – familiarity makes you bored, contempt has always been there, hidden. It comes up, it was waiting for the right moment, the seed was there.
The mind always has the opposite within it, and that opposite goes into the unconscious and waits for its moment to come up. If you observe minutely, you will feel it every moment. When you say to someone, “I love you,” close your eyes, be meditative, and feel – is there any hatred hidden? You will feel it. But because you want to deceive yourself, because the truth is so ugly – that you hate a person that you love – you don’t want to face it. You want to escape from the facticity, so you hide it. But hiding won’t help, because it is not deceiving somebody else, it is deceiving yourself.
So whenever you feel something, just close the eyes and go into yourself to find the opposite somewhere. It is there. And if you can see the opposite, that will give you a balance, then you will not say, “I love you.” If you are truthful you will say, “My relationship with you is one of love and hate.”
All relationships are love/hate relationships. No relationship is of pure love, and no relationship is of pure hate. It is both love and hate. If you are truthful you will be in difficulty. If you say to a girl, “My relationship with you is one of both love and hate; I love you as I have never loved anybody and I hate you as I have never hated anybody,” it will be difficult to get married unless you find a meditative girl who can understand the reality; unless you can find a friend who can understand the complexity of the mind.