I said, “Now I will give you a general instruction that covers everything because if I give you instructions for a single thing and she says something else, again you will be in trouble: If she says anything, she means yes; otherwise she wouldn’t bother even to say that, she would simply turn around and go on her way. If she becomes angry, that is quite something, that means it is possible. She has shown some emotion towards you; her instincts are stirred. Now you have to be a little clever to turn her emotions in your favor.
“But if she says nothing and does not even look at you, then it is better you seek somewhere else. She is going to be difficult for you. Right now she is very difficult, and if you get her then she is going to be really terrible. It is better you forget about her.”
But all children, all over the world, play the game of hide-and-seek. Nobody teaches them, so how did it become universal? It must be coming out from their inner nature – some urge to seek, to find, some challenge. The girl must have some inner urge to escape as far as she can. The more beautiful she is, the more she will try to escape because she knows you will follow. A homely girl will not try hiding too much; she will hide, but in such a way that you can find her. An ugly girl will not even try hiding. She will not say no thinking that it will be understood as yes; she will simply say yes so as not to leave anything in confusion, in limbo.
The same is true about the man. The ugly man will be the greatest seeker; he will find you even if you are hiding in hell. He is not going to leave you alone. The middle-class, the middler, will try to find you but not so hard. If he can find you, good; otherwise he will seek somewhere else. The most beautiful will not try seeking at all, he will wait for you to come.
These things happen naturally – nobody decides these things, they are part of your biological nature. But nature has been wise enough to give you the delusion of love; otherwise, just for reproduction purposes, for life to continue, you are not going to do all those exercises and eighty-four sex postures that Vatsyayana prescribes – strange, ugly, stupid. If you take love away then bare sex looks really very animal-like. That is one of the problems that humanity has been troubled by all along and is still troubled by. One can only hope that in the future we can make it more understandable.
The man goes on seeking, persuading, writing love letters, sending presents and doing everything in his power; but once his sex is satisfied he starts becoming uninterested. Now, it is not something that he is doing knowingly. He does not want to hurt; particularly the person whom he has loved he does not want to hurt. But this is the way of biology. All that romance and all the love was just smoke in which nature was trying to hide the sexual part, which in itself looks ugly, so it was giving it a beautiful cover.
But once nature’s work is done through you, all that smoke disappears. Instinct knows only sex. Love is only a sugar coating on a bitter pill just to help you swallow it. Don’t go on keeping it in your mouth, otherwise you will not be able to swallow it; soon the thin coating of sugar will be gone and you are going to spit out the bitter pill.