Because Christianity does not believe in another life, in rebirth, the West has not had that awareness to work back further; they stop at this birth, at the most. So Primal will be helpful to make you aware of the problem but it is not going to solve the problem. That too is good, because half the problem is solved once you know it.
So work hard in Primal; you will become aware of a very strong armor that you cannot go through. The Enlightenment Intensive will be very helpful. It is a Zen method and goes into past lives, into the very roots of life. So do that and then tell me how you feel.
Put everything at stake…and it is going to happen. When it does it will be tremendously beautiful. It is not going to be gradual for you – it will explode.
I am only experiencing anger, not pain, but getting out the anger is making me feel a lot better. I’m concerned that I may have cut off any early experiences of my childhood that were painful and need to be recalled and relived.
No, you are on the right track. Allow the anger because just behind that is pain.
Anger arises as a protection against pain. If somebody hurts you, you become angry as a protection of your being against pain. So every pain is suppressed by anger – layers and layers of anger on pain.
So just continue working on anger, and suddenly any moment you will feel the anger has disappeared, that you are becoming sad, not angry. The climate will change from anger to sadness, and when it does you can be certain that now you are close to pain; then the pain will erupt.
It is just as if we dig a hole in the earth to make a well. First we have to remove the earth and many layers of stone, and then the water comes up. At first it is not clean water, it is muddy; then by and by cleaner sources become available. First anger will come – and it has many layers like earth. Then sadness will come like muddy water, and then pain, clean pure pain, will be available. And pure pain is tremendously beautiful because it will give you another birth immediately. The whole effort of Primal is to bring you to the primal pain that everybody passes through while coming out of the womb.
You are exactly on the right track. Any moment in these seven days it will happen, so don’t be worried.
Twice I’ve got in touch with feelings, but there’s a judge inside that shuts me off, and it’s my mother. I’m very hard on myself.
Don’t be worried about it. In the beginning it always happens.