For the participants a leader is needed, he is a must. A day will come when your understanding will become your leader. Up to then a leader will be needed. He is a substitute – a poor substitute of course, but when your understanding is there, no substitute is needed. When you have your own light within you, then not even a Buddha can substitute it.
Buddha’s last words were, “Be a light unto yourself.” If you don’t have the light, he is helpful, but his help is only to help you to create a light within yourself.
So remember that when I talk, I talk on many levels and layers. You are making the same mistake that Satprem made. I was talking about the leader and the group, and his mind immediately jumped to me and him. I was talking to him about him and the group, and your mind immediately jumped to you and him.
The leader should know that he is not needed, but the led should know that they need him, and should feel grateful that he is there. Otherwise you miss the point, and the ego can assert that the leader is not needed, is irrelevant; that you can do it on your own because everything is unplanned.
I know everything is unplanned, but the unplanning is absolutely planned. It has been thought about, planned, brooded upon. It is not just unplanned; it is very carefully planned. It is planned in the sense that it has been chosen; it has been a choice to use an unplanned situation to help the group. Otherwise the whole thing will go into a chaos, and it will not give you anything, no maturity. It may make you even more confused rather than grounding you.
These things look contradictory and they are in a way, because life is paradoxical. So to a leader I say not to be a leader, and to the led I say to believe in the leader, to trust and respect him, to be grateful to him. And to the leader I say he is irrelevant, that he should not accept too much gratitude; that he should not go on an ego-trip, and that he is not needed at all – without him the group can continue, and that it is not therapy and the participants are not patients.
I have trouble talking. More and more.
It comes sometimes, and it is a good sign. The real trouble is with people who go on talking and don’t know what they are talking about and why. They go on talking because they cannot stop.
But if you become a little aware of the whole nonsense and the trouble that goes on and on in the mind, once you become aware that there is nothing to say, that everything seems to be trivia, then you hesitate.
In the beginning it feels as though you are losing the capacity to communicate – it is not so. In fact people talk not to communicate, but to avoid communication. Soon you will be able to really communicate, mm? Just wait and don’t force anything.