As far as my experience reaches, compassion between man and woman seems to be a rare thing. The other morning I heard you say that the mind creates walls and intelligence creates bridges.
Osho, can you say something about the way from passion to compassion? Also, for two months now I have given my very best in relating to Niskriya. Have you got a little joke for us?
Your question is almost as ancient as man. It is certainly a very rare phenomenon that passion between man and woman turns into compassion. It turns only into hatred, because in the first place it was not passion. In the very first place you had given a wrong name to something which was not love; hence when that experience which you have called love, passion disappears – what is left is not compassion, is not friendliness, is not gratitude, but sheer hatred.
The psychologists have started talking about marriage as an intimate hatred. You are together because you fulfill certain biological needs of each other, but otherwise, you are as far away from each other as two stars can be.
If love is authentic, if it is not just lust but a spiritual harmony, then certainly this passion is going to bring compassion in your life. And the transformation of passion into compassion is the whole evolution of man into a Gautam Buddha. But you are right; it rarely happens. It could not even happen in the case of Gautam Buddha himself.
Gautam Buddha renounced the world, his kingdom, his palace, his wife whom he thought he had loved so much. After twelve years he came back. Enlightened, he realized that he had not been human to his old father, to his loving wife, and to the one-day-old child. So as he became enlightened the first thing was to go back to his old kingdom and ask forgiveness.
There is a beautiful story…
The moment he initiated his cousin-brother, Ananda, into sannyas – Ananda was older than Gautam Buddha – Ananda said to him, “After initiation I am no more. Your word is my life, your order is my way. Before initiation I am still your elder brother, hence I want three conditions to be promised now because later on I cannot ask anything from you, you will be the master.”
Gautam Buddha said, “What are those three things? I don’t have anything to give – just this begging bowl.”
Ananda said, “I am not asking about things. I am asking about something else. The first condition is that you shall never send me anywhere away from you to spread the word, the message. Second, I will be with you the whole day, and even in the night I will sleep in the same room where you will be sleeping. And the third thing, if I ask any question or if I bring someone who wants to ask any question to you, you will not refuse, you will have to answer.”
Gautam Buddha said, “There is no problem in it. It is okay. You get initiated.”
He had not realized that this was going to create many problems. But the worst problem happened when he came back after twelve years to his home. Ananda was with him just like a shadow.