But the other possibility is that you start as friends, without any passion. The trouble will be that the mind will be asking for passion in the beginning. If you can drop that and not be worried about it, you can grow in friendship, so that by and by without any passion or peak you will come to the valley and settle in it.
And my feeling is that if love starts by friendship, though it may be difficult in the beginning, in the end it is very very beautiful, because you never miss anything. If from the beginning a friendship can remain a friendship, it will go deeper; it will not go higher, but it will go deeper and will settle. This type of relationship is difficult in the beginning, and the other type is easy to begin with, but difficult in the end. In fact if you look at the whole, both are the same. So don’t make it a problem, or he will start escaping!
A woman asks about strong reactions and experiences in latihan and in the Gourishankar meditation.
Stop the Gourishankar, but do the other meditations.
Everything is going well; it is just that this is how it happens in latihan. First there are the gross movements of the body, and then the subtle movements of the inner structure of the body, the contractions of the muscles. One day these movements will also disappear. Don’t try to force them though, allow them. As the body movements have disappeared, these will too. Then you will have a really flowing body, really alive.
Otherwise many parts of the body are dead. Those muscles which are not really relaxed are contracting, and through contracting they will become flexible. So it is going well. Continue it.
Sometimes when latihan is going deep, anything concerned with eyes can be a disturbance, so don’t do the Gourishankar.
How are you feeling on the whole?
I think I like to move really close to people, but then I become afraid that I will be rejected. But I’ve been able to come closer to people than ever before.
No, you will be able to move even closer. You need first to see that when somebody rejects you, he is not in fact rejecting you; he is simply saying that he doesn’t fit with you. He may even like you, but somehow the energies don’t fit.
So no rejection is personal – nor is any acceptance personal; deep down they are energy phenomena. If somebody falls in love with you and accepts you deeply, it doesn’t mean that he has accepted you, or you, him. It simply means that these two energies are meeting on a deeper level, and you are just instrumental.