Deep sleep you attain, so the only thing to be attained is more and more consciousness. If you can add more consciousness to your deep sleep you will become enlightened. The mountain is transcended and the path opens – one thing.
Second thing: you carry the past within you – that creates multiplicity. You were a child, the child is still hidden in you, and sometimes you can still feel the child kicking; in certain moments you regress and become the child again. You were once young, now you are old; that young man is hidden there, and sometimes even an old man starts being as foolish as a young man.
You carry the whole past, every moment of it, and you have been many things! From the womb up to now you have been millions of persons, and they are all carried within you, layer by layer. You have grown, but the past has not disappeared; it may be hidden, but it is there – and it is not only in the mind, it is even in the body. If, when you were a small child and you were angry and someone said, “Stop! Don’t be angry,” and you stopped, that anger is still being carried by your hand. It has to be so because energy is indestructible, and unless you relax that hand it will persist, unless you do something consciously to complete the circle of that energy which became anger in a certain moment fifty years back or sixty years back, you will carry it within you, and it will color all your actions.
You can touch somebody, but the touch won’t be pure: the whole past is carried by the hand; all repressed anger, all repressed hatred is there. Even if in love you touch a person your touch is not pure, love cannot be – because where will that anger go which is carried by the hand?
Wilhelm Reich worked very much on this somatic repression. The body carries the past, the mind carries the past; because of this loaded state you cannot be here and now. You have to come to terms with your past.
So meditation is not only a question of doing something here and now; before that is possible you have to come to terms with your past – you have to dissolve all hangovers, and there are millions of them.
Even when one becomes old he is also a child, a young man, and all that he has ever been is there, because you don’t know how to die every moment.
That is the whole art of life – to die moment to moment so that there is no hangover.
A relationship has finished – you don’t carry it, you simply die to it! What can you do? Something was happening and now it is not happening. You accept it and you die to it – you simply drop it with full awareness, and then you are renewed in a new moment. Now you are not carrying the past.
You are a child no more, but watch yourself and you will feel the child is there – and that child creates trouble! If you were really a child there would be no trouble, but you are young or old….
I have heard: