I love to cry and to feel this sweet pain of longing in my heart that has been visiting me for a while. It seems to be a treasure that is bringing me back after having been lost in the mind. I have experienced a stillness beyond this pain and tears; yet, sometimes it feels as if I would love to cry my way to God.
Osho, is it possible to indulge too much in this sensation in my heart?
There are a thousand and one ways to reach to the ultimate. If your crying is out of joy, then your tears are more valuable than any laughter can be. It all depends on the quality. Tears can be of pain, tears can be of blissfulness, tears can be of silence, tears can be of gratitude. And when tears are of gratitude it is not suffering, it is rejoicing – just in your own style.
I don’t deny any possibility of reaching to the divine. And all possibilities are available. Just choose the one that suits you best. Don’t be concerned and don’t compare with others; that brings complexity. Just watch yourself. If your tears are helping your growth, making you richer, making you more loving, making you more lively, if you feel tears are bringing your spring closer, these same tears will turn into flowers. So you have to be careful.
The criterion is simple: anything that gives you a feeling of fullness, overflowing; anything that gives you a sensation of your interiority, your subjectivity; anything that makes you aware of the immense mystery that you are and that the whole existence is, means you are on the right path.
And everybody has to move on his own path. There are no highways to the divine. Everybody has to move, not on ready-made pathways, but on the contrary, as you move you make your own path. And it is going to be only for you, especially for you. Nobody else will be able to walk on the same path. No two individuals are the same. Their uniqueness is such that their paths cannot be the same either. No two enlightened persons in the world have reached to the ultimate explosion in the same way.
And this has created a great difficulty. You follow someone. Naturally he knows the way, he has reached. And he teaches you the way, forgetting completely that you are not him. Your path is going to be different. So the only authentic masters are those who don’t give you details of the path, who don’t give you a map to follow, a guidebook to carry with you. That guidebook may have been exactly the right thing for the master himself, but it is not going to be the right thing for you.
Although you would like the consolation of being definite, certain, guaranteed, these are wrong desires. These are the desires which create hindrances. The master can only give a guarantee to you if you move on his path. He knows it, he has traveled on it. He knows the pitfalls; he can make you aware of mistakes which he had committed. But this is going to be too cheap, and existence is not cheap at all. It is the costliest.