But, he says what about the lover? His unity is far richer because he unites three in one: the lover, the beloved and love. His unity is a kind of trinity. That is the second path – the path of the devotee, the bhakta, the Sufi, the lover. And Sanai says it is far richer than the path of purity. Because of the unity of three, it has richness, it is far more juicy. And because it is a path of love, it does not negate, it affirms.
The path of the meditator says neti, neti: neither this nor that. The path of love says iti, iti – this too, this too. It accepts, it affirms. It welcomes, it is positive. It does not empty oneself; rather, it fills oneself with the beloved. It invites godliness, it becomes a host to godliness. And there arises a unity which is not the unity of the disappearance of the observer into the observed or the observed into the observer. It is not a unity of disappearance; it is an orgasmic unity. It is like when two lovers move to the height of their passion, when they dissolve into each other but they are – and far more so than they have ever been.
Have you observed it? If somebody takes your hand very lovingly in his hand and presses it with warmth and love and caring, suddenly your hand becomes alive. It pulsates with new joy. Just a moment ago you may not have even been aware of your hand. Now the hand is alive, more alive than any other part of your body. The hand stands out; it becomes warmer and warmer. It feels the joy of the other in greeting you, it feels the love of the other pouring in you; it starts responding, it vibrates, it pulsates, it streams.
The psychologists say that a child who has not been hugged by the parents remains somehow dead. His body never comes to be alive. The child needs to be hugged; the child needs to be hugged again and again, caressed, kissed. Otherwise the child will never know the life pulsating in his body. He will remain literally cold because he will never know warmth pouring into him. And when warmth is not pouring into him, he cannot respond by his own warmth. His warmth has to be challenged, provoked, seduced.
But our world has become more and more non-loving, non-caressing, non-hugging. People keep apart, people live at distances. Even if they are standing side by side in a train, touching each other’s body, still they keep themselves distant and aloof. That touch has to remain cold because if the touch becomes warm, the other may feel offended. You have transgressed, you have entered into his territory – and how dare you! The bodies may be touching, but the souls shouldn’t touch. The bodies may be touching, but they should touch as corpses touch; they shouldn’t become warm, they shouldn’t respond. This has created a very encapsulated man who lives in a kind of grave, who lives in a cold, cold world, dark and cold.
When somebody hugs you and the hug is not just an empty motion, an empty gesture, when the hug is real and authentic and he pours his love into you, your love energy rises to the occasion. Your body becomes alive; you feel a totally different kind of life. You start moving towards the optimum. Otherwise, people live at the minimum. They live a dull life; their life has no sharpness. It can’t have without love.